All I Can Give You // Cake

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~ I know, I know i'm a horrible person and I'm sorry, kinda

Dedicated to @mikescuddles because I just love you a lot okay? I just really love you and you're so cool and so is your story and yeah, I love you, very much /M~ 

Colourful papers and boxs, boxes and cylinders and circles. There are so many presents there, stacked neatly under the tree, each of them with a tag on it, letting people know who it's meant for.

Calum's standing in the corner of the room, watching the tree. The rest of the house is dark but the lights in the tree are still on and it lights up the room just enough. This isn't what they were planning, this is the exact opposite to what they were planning, but it's beautiful. The tree is bigger than the one they were supposed to have in their apartment and it's much better decorated, but it isn't their tree, this is Liz's tree, Andrew's tree.


The snow continues to fall outside and Calum waits, he's not sure what he's waiting for but he waits, and after no more than fifteen minutes he hears someone come down the stairs. It's Luke, and Calum's heart skips a couple beats when he sees the boy. Luke doesn't seem to have shaved for a few days, Calum hasn't either but you'd never be able to tell, and he's taken out his lip ring. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks, but despite the dark rings under his eyes he still looks beautiful.

Luke. Calum takes a step forward, reaching out for the taller boy, but Luke doesn't react, he doesn't notice him. Instead, he sits down on the floor in front of the tree. Calum walks over, kneeling down behind him, and watches how Luke carefully goes through the presents, looking for nothing in particular. He's not planning on opening anything, he just wants something to do while he waits for the night to be over. But he finds something, something he didn't expect to find. Slowly, carefully, he picks up the CD, that for some reason hasn't been wrapped. it has his name on it, his name written on a note that falls out when he opens the case. He unfolds it and Calum reads it over his shoulder.


Luke.

I'm sorry I couldn't be here for Christmas, you know I wanted nothing more than to spend it with you this year, just like every year after, but we rarely get what we want, don't we?

I knew about this long before you did, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but we both know you would have worried too much if you knew, and so I kept it from you for a while.

When I knew I wouldn't be able to be here for Christmas, I did this. it's not much but it's hard for me to get you something else since I don't know what you want, I mean it's only July as I'm writing this and I can't go and ask you. So all I can give is this Christmas song, I just hope that you'll like it and maybe listen to it once in a while, so you don't forget about me.

I'm sorry it turned out like this, but it was out of our hands.

I love you Luke, always.

Calum.


Both of them are crying, both of them have tears running down their cheeks, but Luke's are the only ones that fall to the floor. They stay like that for a while, Calum standing there unable to do anything to make Luke feel better, until Luke gets up. He's still holding the CD case and he walks over to the stereo standing next to the fireplace. He puts the CD in and presses play, and for a moment everything's silent. Then the music starts, at first just a piano but it's soon joined by Calum's voice. Luke's eyes fills with tears when he hears the voice he missed so much, the one he'd do anything to hear again.

oh how I wanted the lights in your eyes to be mine

I wanted the look on your face

All I can give is this Christmas song to you,

I just hope that you'll sing it.

Whenever your heart skips a beat when you're thinking of me

Luke's legs give in and he falls to the floor, where he curl up into a ball with his arms wrapped around his knees, crying and crying and there's nothing Calum can do and he just wants to hold him, he just wants to hold him and tell him he's there, that everything's going to be alright.

you have to know that I can't let you down,

it's you and me versus the rest of this town

and when the lights go out I'll still be around to put a bow on some sound

that's all I can give you this christmas.

Someone running down the stairs, entering the room, and Calum backs away, even though he's not actually there, allowing the two young men to get to their brother. He watches as Jack sits down, pulls Luke onto his lap and rocks him back and forth, none of them knowing what to do or say to make things better.

'Cause baby that's all I can give is this christmas song to you

I just hope that you'll sing it

Whenever your heart skips a beat when you're thinking of me

And the greeting this season will bring leave you searching for meaning

You'll look to the words I have written and you'll be set free

You have to know that I can't let you down

It's you and me versus the rest of this town

And when the lights go out I'll still be around to put a bow on some sound

But that's all I can give you this Christmas.

The song ends and the three brothers are still sitting on the floor, comforting each other, the only thing being heard is the youngest's sobs. And Calum takes another step back, wishing he could do something, anything, to let him know he's there, to let him know he'll always be there looking out for Luke, but he can't. He can't do anything. So he slowly fades away, disappears until the only thing lingering in the room are three words, whispered by nothing but a memory.

I love you

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