Undercover Feelings ✓

Talk To Me

When Robbie regained consciousness he felt like fresh hell. His brain was trying to pound its way out of his skull.  Even his hair was hurting.  His mouth tasted like he'd been sucking the devil's dick.  "Ohhh," he groaned, holding his head.  Why, why did he have to drink? He was going to give it up, no more booze.  Ah, who was he kidding, he promised that every time he had a hangover.

Slowly Robbie sat up in his bed where apparently he slept alone.  He was nude.  How did that happen? He couldn't remember a damn thing.  Sandy was nowhere around.  Neither was Christina.  Maybe they were out walking.  He tried to remember the day before.  Everything was vague and fuzzy.  Somewhere in there was Colin and Sean, some people on the balcony, and Christina screaming his name.  Maybe he pissed her off or something.

Through the pain in his pounding head, Robbie managed to pull on some boxers and stumble into the kitchen.  He decided to make his cure for hangovers. Raw eggs, brandy and Worcestershire sauce.  He mixed up the ingredients, poured them in a glass and took a good gulp of that nasty ass crap.  Already the pain was beginning to ease up, a little.

Robbie took his glass of crap to the table and held his poor throbbing head in his hands and waited for some kind of relief.  He really needed to stop drinking.  No joke, it wasn't even fun anymore.  Not if he had to go through this pain and curing it with nasty remedies.  It wasn't worth it.

The door opened and Christina came in with Sandy.  She looked at him for a moment before slamming the door so loud it sounded like a bomb explosion.  Or so it seemed.

"Shhh!" he whispered trying to calm his throbbing head. 

Sandy ran over to him and barked so loud it hurt his ears and echoed into his brain.  Oh sweet God! He wanted to tear off his head, smash it and get a new one.

Christina came over to him, her hands on her hips.  "Good morning," she said without smiling.  "Nice of you to wear pants.  Or are you going to be taking them off later?"

Robbie groaned again, waiting for his hangover cure to kick in.  "Morning, love."  He had a feeling she was pissed at him.  He sure wished he could recall why.

Christina looked at her man, sitting there hunched over some sick smelling shit in a glass.  Normally he looked hot in the mornings but now he just looked pathetic.  "What's the matter, Robbie? Why were you like that yesterday?"

"Like what? I don't remember shit."

"Seriously?" Christina flared.  "You don't remember anything from yesterday?"

"Please don't yell," Robbie whimpered.  "I'm dying over here.  Is this hangover crap even working?"

"Oh poor baby." Christina mocked.  "All you did was come home drunk as hell, strip naked in front of my friends and later did--" She stopped talking.

"What?"  He had a vague memory of Christina screaming his name.  "Oh no, did I do something bad to you?"

"No, no.  You only projectile puked all over me.  Then you passed out."

There it was.  It came back to him.  Yeah.

Robbie turned and took her hands in his.  "Baby, I'm so sorry, about everything.  I don't know why I acted like that, but I am so sorry."

"Don't be sorry.  I just want to know what brought that on.  I've never seen you drunk before.  It's bad enough you're smoking all the time, that's not good for you.  Do I need to worry about the drinking too?"

Robbie gently pulled her down so she would sit next to him.  "It's a long story."

"I got time, it's my day off.  Talk to me, honey."  She was eager to hear the whole story.

He sighed.  This was going to be so hard reliving this without any drink or smoke to get him through but he was going to do this.

"Okay,"  he said.  "This all started a few years ago.  I met this woman at a party and we hooked up.  She had me sprung at first sight, I was a goner, I fell for her hard.  She was my first, if you know what I mean.  She was amazing."

Christina was jealous of this woman who was his first love and took his virginity.

"I really cared for this woman," Robbie went on.  "I saw myself married to her, having kids, the whole nine.  I was just getting into my acting career.  I wanted to take her with me on location just so we could be together.  We were together for a short while.  Then one morning she just wasn't there.  No note, nothing.  I figured she had to rush for an appointment or something so I wasn't worried.

"Then I tried to call her a couple of times, you know, to invite her out to a party and maybe spend the night.  She didn't answer any of my calls.  Again I thought maybe she was just busy so I let it go and later went to the party by myself."

Christina was quiet as she watched the pain in his face as he replayed his story.

"She was already there," Robbie said.  "But she wasn't alone.  See, when I was going to the john I took a wrong turn and ended up in one of the rooms.  She was in there screwing another guy.  She didn't even try to lie about it.  I asked her what was going on and she told me she was only using me for sex, that's it." The tears began to form in his eyes.  "This woman was my whole life and I didn't mean a damn thing to her.  It destroyed me."

Christina took his hands and held them under her chin.  "That's why you're afraid to commit." she realized.  It all made sense now.

"What's scaring me now is that I'm feeling the same thing with you." Robbie said as he looked at her.  "Christina, you mean a lot to me.  You're in my heart and soul.  I felt that from day one and tried like hell to fight it.  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get you out of my head."

He brushed away the tears that now slid down his cheeks.  "After that bitch dumped me I swore I would never be hurt like that, ever.  So I toughened up.  I stopped giving a damn and started screwing around with a lot of girls without any emotional commitment.  I became the fuck 'em and forget 'em guy.  Along the way I took up smoking and drinking a lot, and partied hard.  But that's not me.   I don't want to be that guy, that's not who I am."

Christina held him close, kissing the top of his head.  "Tell me about the old Robbie.  I want to know that guy."

Robbie sighed, thinking back.  "I was a nice guy focused on my goals.  My acting meant everything to me.  I was devoted to the craft, I was always on time at my auditions and work.  I also wanted to be married with kids and put them first.  I used to bring flowers on my dates and take them on picnics and restaurants and outdoor concerts in the park.  Not to the nearest bed."

Christina gently rocked him.  "I've seen that side of you.  When you took me to the movies and the carnival.  You defended me twice from some asshole.  And you take excellent care of Sandy.  You're not all bad."

He smiled at her, wiping his face with a napkin.  "Look at me, I'm crying right in front of you, I'm in my underwear and I have a hangover.  This isn't scaring you away?"

"Do you see me running away?" she demanded.  "I'm not going anywhere, babe."

They kissed for a while before looking into each others' eyes.

"I love you, Christina."  said Robbie.  "I really love you."

Christina felt a jolt in her heart.  "I love you too, Robbie.  I will never do you like that bitch.  She's the one missing out.  She did you a favor.  I would have been missing out on you.  Her loss, my gain.

They went on kissing and holding each other, not thinking about anything but each other.