My Ideal Guy (Cambridge Academy Series 2)

Chapter 34: Warning

Kyla's.

Hindi ako makagalaw sa pwesto ko. Para akong na-manhid. Pakiramdam ko, nadikit na ang paa ko sa lupa. Gusto ko siyang lapitan. Gusto kong itanong sa mga pulis kung anong nangyayari. Gusto kong kalabitin si Aleign para itanong sa kaniya kung totoo ba talaga 'to.

Pero ang isang parte ng sarili ko ay naniniwalang totoo 'to… at kailangan ko iyon tanggapin dahil iyan naman talaga ang klase ng lalaki na minahal ko. I knew it from the very start yet I still didn't stopped myself from falling in love with him.

Wait… I tried.

I tried too many fucking times.

Gusto kong lumayo sa kaniya dahil ayokong mangyari ulit ang dati na nasaktan ako sa katotohanang ibinunyag niya. Pero nasa harap ko na mismo ang katotohanan… at ang hirap paniwalaan kahit nasa harap ko na rin ang ebidensiya.

I was following his movements while the police were dragging him and he was just staring blankly at the floor.

Why, Jake?

Maayos na ang buhay mo, bakit bumalik ka sa ganito? I thought… you're a decent man now? You even build your own café!

Is this part of loving him? Is this the risk he is asking me to take? Napapikit ako ng mariin. I felt the pain I have inflicted to myself.

Ako ang naglagay sa sarili ko sa ganitong sitwasyon dahil kung una pa lang, iniwasan ko na siya… kung una pa lang, hindi ko na hinayaan ang sarili ko na mahalin ulit siya… hindi ulit sana ako masasaktan ng ganito.

Saka lang ako nakaramdam ulit na parang nabalik na 'ko sa ulirat nang yakapin ako ni Aleign habang pinapanood ko lang ang police car na umalis palayo sa café. Doon ko lang din naramdaman ang pagmalisbis ng luha sa pisngi ko.

The fuck am I crying about?

"I believe in Jake, Kyla. Let's not jump into conclusion. Panigurado na may dahilan si Jake kung bakit niya nagawa 'yon," pag-alo sa'kin ni Aleign pero nanatili lamang akong tulala.

"I thought he's a decent man now…"

"He is, Kyla."

"We saw the evidence, Aleign! He's… he's using… drugs again," my tone was laced with disgust.

I want to accept him and his dark past but what I just witnessed broke my heart.

"Did we see him using it?" Aleign stared deeply into my eyes as if convincing me to believe whatever she'll say.

Hindi ako nakasagot at nanatili lang akong nakatitig sa kaniya.

"We didn't, right? They just found those drugs but it doesn't mean that he's using it. What if, someone just put it there? Maybe a customer left it? Who knows, right?"

I am thankful to Aleign for keeping my sanity. Mababaliw siguro talaga ako ngayon kung ako lang ang nakakita noon. Buti na lang at nandito siya. She is knocking some sense on me and I must admit that she got a point.

We didn't saw Jake using them. He got into rehab! Kaya alam ko na magaling na siya ngayon at hindi niya na ulit babalikan ang dati niyang gawain.

But the other side of my brain is telling me that not all men got cured from the rehabilitation center. May iba na bumalik pa rin sa dati nilang gawi.

Bago ko patulan ang ideyang iyon, inilingan ko na agad. That is not the case for Jake. I know he's a decent man now. He won't say those things to me for nothing! He wants to pursue the title of my ideal guy and he knows that I don't like a guy like that. Kaya alam ko na hindi niya magagawa 'yon.