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I pulled on my black flats while sitting on my bed. I looked up to see Lana standing there in the door way wearing a black dress and her hair down. Her make up was natural.
I sighed and stood up. My dark brown hair was down as well straightened. I was wearing a black dress that had shoulders. I wore my wedding ring on my left and my engagement one on my right. 
I grabbed my hand bag placing my phone in it. I walked to Lana who was staring contently at me.
We walked into the living room to see my dad and brothers wearing suits. Jakes parents where also there.
"Are you ready?" His dad asked. I nodded. We all went out to the limo that was waiting. I wanted to drive my truck but his parents insisted.
Honestly I haven't been close with his parents the whole time I've known him.
I wanted to break down but I refused to. I can do that later.
We pulled up to the church and stepped out. There wasn't going to be a viewing because of the burns but I wanted to see him one last time.
I walked in and straight to the room the casket was being put in. They shut the door as soon as I was in. I slowly walked up to the casket and sighed taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes keeping the tears at bay.
I slowly lifted the lid to see him laying there with burns creeping up his neck. I could tell the back of his head and some. But the top of his face was only slightly burned. He was dressed in his wedding tux. His hands over his chest showing off his wedding ring. That's when I noticed there was something in the chest pocket.
The way her eyes brighten when she talks about something she loves is what gives me my smile.
I'll be damned if I hurt her in any way. She's my sunrise and sunset.
My princess but more importantly my Queen.
She rules the land I walk in and blessed me with her presence.
To make her my wife is like marrying a goddess. Afraid to mess up but with a perfect intent of doing right.
I let a few tears drop as I realize this was the paper he wrote at our wedding reception. He refused to show me but told me not to worry. I of course didn't think anything of it.
I folded it back up and placed it in my purse. I leaned down and kissed his slightly burned lips one last time before shutting the casket enclosing him in the darkness. I know you're probably thinking why would she kiss a dead person? Well to you he's just another body but to me he's my King. My everything.
There was a knock at the door before it opened to reveal everyone. I took my seat next to the casket as everyone started to file in. There was wreaths of flowers with pictures of him in them.
I shook hands with those I didn't know and hugged those I did. I cried lightly. When a little girl walked up by herself she reminded of his sister. I've never met her kids but in guessing this was one.
"I'm sorry uncle Jake gone." She mumbled. I smiled slightly.
"Thank you sweat heart." She smiled brightly and hugged me while placing a kiss on my cheek. When she pulled away I held back my tears.
I went on like that for almost an hour before I stood up and waited for the pall barers wheeled him into the bigger room where there was to be speeches.
Everyone tried to talk me out of talking so I wouldn't have to break down in front of everyone but I was going to do it unless some one shot me.
As everyone took there places I went up to the front row and sat down in front of the wood piece.
Around the front of the room where flowers and shadow boxes.
They said a prayer before the bishop said a few words even though I knew he knew nothing of him. My friends and his where there along with family. Everyone came even the cast and old cast members of both our careers.
"And now a few words from his wife Emilee DeBlasio Austin." I looked up and met eye contact with the man.
I stood after squeezing Lana's hand and went up to the stand where the micro phone was.
"Hi." I looked in the back to see an old man I didn't expect to see. Thomas. "I was there when it happened." I chocked holding back tears. I took a deep breath to compose myself. "Jake was not just my husband. He was my best guy friend, my shoulder to lean on, the one I could ask which bra color would look good with my out fit." Everyone gave a small sad chuckle. "My partner in crime, my personal cook when I didn't want to cook. The one that could go to the store with me and have us almost kicked out. But over all he was my light. The light I've needed for years." I stopped for a second to calm down. I shut my eyes and thought back to the good times. "When I had met Jake some of you know the story but I'll tell you what I thought. I was walking through the airport to get back to my car because I had just flown in. He was just leaving. We both weren't watching where we were going. And events led on to another. Our first date was at a pizza place near the hospital I was currently at. I haven't told many people this but I'm barren due to a cancer. A rare cancer that attacks the eggs in your ovaries." I inhaled again. "I had all of my reproductive organs taken out because I could not bare to get sicker. No one could've told that I was sick unless they knew what to look for. Then I thought if I get lonely I'll just get a dog. But then I went on that date with him and fell. I hated to admit it then but I wanted kids. I will never have any. Jake was always looking for someway to get us a child made from the both of us. But I don't have sisters and the thought of some other woman having something with him that I couldn't give him was unsettling." I looked at each person. I caught a few tears and a few smirks. Those smirks where his exs which counted of two people. The rest just looked on in mourn.
"Jake helped me see that having a kid would make me as an individual a better person. But not having kids allowed me to be free to do as I wish. But not having a partner to get into trouble is far worse than being barren. Jake may you rest in piece. I love you." I was crying but I didn't care. I stepped down and sat back next to Lana and my dad and tested my head in my fathers shoulder. I looked up to see that his sister was going to speak.
"Hey everyone. Emilee I need to speak with you later so don't go anywhere." She winked. She went on talking high praises and bring up embarrassing memories. I listened in aww. I watched his family speak of him. I smiled knowing he was loved but frowned when I remembered I would never see his smile.

I watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. I sat by myself in a chair just watching. Everyone else was trumping to leave. The seat next to me was taken by no other than his sister.
"Hey." She said whipping her eyes.
"Hi." I mumbled.
"Look Jake came to me last month wondering if I'd carry your guys child." I looked at her weirdly. "Your brother Patrick is donating a sperm for your half of the baby. And me being his sister I'll be the other half. He was going to surprise you on your little vacation thing but he was to late." I looked at her and just studied her seeing slot of Jake. "I'm three months pregnant." I perked up.
"You are?" She nodded and took my hand and laid it on her relatively small bump that I hadn't noticed. I smiled shyly and looked on in awe.
"Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" She shook her head.
"I wanted to wait till you knew to find that out." I nodded and turned back to the whole that was now being filled. He found a way that kept it like us. Us was a foreign word now.

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