PAPERCUT

3o | her

{the user has changed the name of chim ☔ to jimin 💧}

Jimin💧: Just stop it. We're done. I'm going to block you if you don't stop! Don't you dare try me. I've had enough of you girls playing with my heart.

chaemin: jimin please, forgive me

chaemin: if only you knew . . if only you fucking knew how broken i am when you were gone
{message not sent}

chaemin: if only you felt what i did when you break it to me that you don't even know a girl named kim chaemin
{message not sent}

chaemin: if only you realized how fucking i wanted to end my life for you . . how my whole world fell apart when you were gone, how all of the best memories in my life was just poof! in one flick of a freaking destiny's hand it all vanished in that mind of yours.
{message not sent}

chaemin: don't you know how a wreck of i am? how hard life without you? how i am still madly, deeply and lovesick with a man like you park jimin?
{message not sent}

chaemin's heart ached with so much pain as she kept on pressing the keys unto her phone only to end up not sending them. the girl's eyes would erupt with tears and it would end up her being a mess both physically and emotionally. chaemin would always hesitate to send the message, even how badly she wants the boy to see and read all the messages that her heart has always kept inside. the girl would always snap on her senses as she is still not in the right position to do so, because the boy is nothing but just an amnesiac fool blinded by all these tangled lies made up by his parents and pretentious girlfriend.

chaemin: i just fucking loved you, what's wrong with that? what's so wrong of loving you? why do they have to keep me from seeing you? why does your mother have to keep you away from me? why . . just would somebody enlighten me so i wouldn't be a fool anymore?
{message not sent}

chaemin: i'm a fool for you while you're a fool for the lies . . but still
{message not sent}

chaemin: i love you so much and i still do . . even how my heart ached from all this countless of pain you've done to my oh so poor me. i am still clinging on the love that i thought would eventually come back but, after two years here i am still waiting for nothing. i am wasting my life on you, i am wasting almost 15 months of my life all because of you and you even have no idea of that. you clearly fucking know nothing of the hell i've been through.
{message not sent}

chaemin: i miss you so much

chaemin: i love you so so much
{message not sent}

chaemin: please, remember me
{message not sent}

chaemin: you used to say that you would always love me no matter what
{message not sent}

chaemin: whatever the mind does not know, the heart would.

chaemin: remember

chaemin: save me please
{message not sent}

chaemin: should i just let go of you
{message not sent}

the girl wiped the tears that were continuously strolling on her cheeks.

"stop . . . just stop falling" chaemin ordered to her eyes, begging it to be more precise but instead of stopping, her eyes went to an all out to a river of tears. as the girl couldn't stop them, she just let herself curl her body into a ball as she hugged her legs and rested her head on her knees. this was the first time after two years she had ever let herself cry. the girl was always trying to hold it all in for she doesn't want to return to america and leave korea once again.

she wanted to stay at the place where everything began and ended, even if it meant recalling the pain.

"chae" the girl's depressing session was cut when she felt strong arms envelope her little frame. her nose was greeted by the familiar scent as her eyes met a muscular chest and she felt warmth embracing her as a soothing touch lingered on her back.

the girl let out a sob before speaking, "jeongguk" she breathed rather ragged as her weak arms return the embrace and the said boy cradled her into his arms.

"i promised jin-hyung that i would stay away but, i couldn't . . i couldn't stay away from the woman i love"

chaemin's heart was torn once more as she didn't have the heart to speak to the boy, she clearly knew how much jeongguk loved her even before jimin and her got together, she knew how badly the boy yearned for her and she also knew that he was the main reason of her sadness right now but she could not bring herself to open her mouth as it would only cause an even more pain to the younger boy.

cupid must be really having fun shooting his arrows on poor hearts. like chaemin, jeongguk only loved, the two hearts only loved at the wrong time and maybe even at the wrong person.

i guess we're all a little fool in the game called love.