❝ you were like silk chains. binding, choking and killing me but i'm still trapped in loving you ❞
loving and holding on was futile but, she still writes for her clueless amnesiac boyfriend. besides, what more can she lose from a tattered and wounde...
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"a heart clouded with cowardness will never find its way back home"
chaemin: you don't know how much i want to talk to you {message not sent}
chaemin: please forgive me
chaemin: i can't . . we can't
jimin: no. only you can't . . i can talk to you, you're the only one that's keeping us apart! if you can't then . . just stop it. stop messaging me!
jimin: what's the use of all this when even your voice—god, even just hearing your voice wouldn't even be allowed?! aren't we friends? you should trust me!
jimin: what more is wrong with us talking through phone? i am not even asking you to let me see your face. heck, i let it pass when you didn't want me to know your name, i also let it pass when you refused meeting in person but still, why? why won't you let me hear your voice? just freaking tell me why?!
chaemin: cause i'm afraid i might lose you again! i love you so much that as much as i want to hear your sweet voice, i am stopping myself! {message not sent}
chaemin: cause i don't want to lose you
jimin: well . . what you're doing right now would let me slip away from you
chaemin: you don't know how i freaking love you so much but i can't say it to you {message not sent}
chaemin: you don't know how much i am wanting to hear your sweet voice and how i would want to spend my time listening to you all day long {message not sent}
chaemin: you don't know how torn i am to know that you are taken and the person who owns you is not me {message not sent}
chaemin: i hate how i am still lovesick fool for you {message not sent}
chaemin: don't you understand that i am doing this for the both of us? what if your mother knew? what if she knew we were talking? what if she would keep you away from me again? {message not sent}
chaemin: what if the next time she decides to do things her way, this time i might not be able to see you ever again? {message not sent}
chaemin: what will happen to me? what would happen to us? what am i supposed to do with this life? {message not sent}
chaemin: it's been fucking two years and yet here i am still clinging in this toxic thing called 'loving you' {message not sent}
chaemin: you said you wanted to hear my voice? what would that get you? would you recieve any kind of reward with just hearing my voice? no, right? the only person who would feel blessed to hear the other's voice is me. i am the only one who would feel heaven once i heard your voice because i've been dying to hear you, touch you and be with you. i am nothing but a past time for you so, what would that benefit you?! {message not sent}
chaemin: let's face it, you only talk to me because you're good for nothing girlfriend has been nothing but pain in the ass lately and your only refuge to breath everything out is me. {message not sent}
chaemin: as much as it hurts and as much as of a fool i am, i am a willing victim to be your tool. i am a fool for talking to you even if everything that i am doing is futile, even if this whole thing is nothing but just a leisure time for you. {message not sent}
chaemin: well news flash, every word, every phrase and everything i did for you is not a past time—all of my heart was poured down in every piece and in every word i have written. everything i did was all out of love even if i knew that none of it would ever be repayed cause your freaking memories won't come back. {message not sent}
chaemin: i am fucking still in love with you even when all you do is nothing but hurt me. {message not sent}
chaemin: why can't i still stop loving you? why can't i escape from you? why can't i let you go? {message not sent}
chaemin: i shouldn't have returned in korea and i shouldn't have even dared walked in front of your doorstep to give that fucking letter {message not sent}
chaemin: i love you still damn much park jimin and as much as this is making me look like an idiot, all of this unsent message are killing me as my hand itched to press the send button {message not sent}
chaemin: and as much as i wanted to send it i can't cause you're still the boy i love who's a clueless amnesiac boy {message not sent}
chaemin: i'm so sorry
jimin: stop saying sorry if you won't do anything to make it up
