Chapter 1- The Mourned and the Mourning

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*Eight Months Later*

I walked into Jane's office with a cup of hot coffee, one cream one sugar, just how I like it.

"Hey guys." I said as I strode straight to my desk and began to work. Jane and Darcy smiled at me as they always did. I scratched at the scar on my wrist.

Yes, I tried to commit suicide. I used to cut too, not a ' numb the pain on the inside with the pain on the outside,' type thing. It's a 'I can't feel anything either way so why the hell not?' type thing.

Jane and Darcy knew this, they were there when I tried to kill myself six months ago. They were always there, but I didn't need them. I needed my Cara.

Cara.

"How are you today?"

"How do you think?" I asked not looking up from the readings.

"Aria-"

"Jane." I cut her off and glanced up at her. 

"How about we go out today, there's that town festival going around, why don't we go to it?" Jane suggested and I sighed.

"Not today, I've got a lot of work and-"

"Aria, you need to have fun. You either drink yourself to death alone at some bar, or your mourning in a corner. Live a little." Darcy said and Jane looked at me worriedly. She sat down on the desk in front of me.

"Why should I 'live a little' when Cara couldn't even live at all?" I asked and sighed as I thought of Cara.

"Aria, Cara wouldn't want you to be like this. She would want you to move one, or get help." Jane said softly, Jane was always the kindest in these situations.

"I don't need help, I'm fine." I grumbled and scratched my head.

"No, you're obviously not, you need help Aria," Darcy said with her own annoyed tone.

"What I need to do is work, besides, no one can help me." I rolled my eyes and looked down. "Not on this damned planet.

Darcy and Jane shared a look.

"Perhaps not on this planet..." Jane whispered and jumped up. She dashed away quickly leaving me staring after her.

"Okay then..." I trailed and cocked my head to the side.

"I'll... be right back," Darcy said running after Jane. I sighed and pushed my red hair out of my face.

"I'll just sit here then."

-_-_-_-

So Jane left and didn't come back. Neither did Darcy. At one point in the evening I left and stumbled into a bar and got hammered drunk. As usual.

"Aria! Seriously!" Jane yelled as she saw me in my drunken stupor walking around town.

"Jane! Jane! Jane! Jane Eyre! Oh! Is dis Mr. Rochester?" I giggled and drunkenly slurred, and poked the large blond metal covered guy next to her.

"Oh... dis canno be him... he look like a knight. Knight and Shining Armor!" I shouted loudly and stumbled a bit.

"Aria, you said you wouldn't drink." Jane shook her head, and I sighed and sat down on the floor in the middle of the sidewalk.

"I wadn't gonna to... but you said you'd be right back, and you weren." I shrugged and giggled, "This ground is hard."

"Yeah, up ya' go." Jane said as she tugged me up.

"I don wanna." I slurred drunkenly as I made a fish - like pout face.

"Aria, you are hammered drunk and you're embarrassing yourself." Jane laughed and my head lulled back, I stared at the stars.

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