drown in your hands ; haikyuu x reader

I hate you, I love you - Terushima Yuuji

[ requested ]
—

Terushima held your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles while your chest moved up and down, breathing as you sleep on your apartment's couch.

His legs were folded on the ground as he watched your face create small breathing motions. The captain's eyes stared into your closed ones and saw how it had tiny red circles underneath them. You were crying all night and he knew. He knew that you were hurt. He knew that what caused you so much pain was... him.

His arms were around some girl's shoulder at a classroom where students were getting ready to go home.

His eyes widened a little when he saw you entering the room with the saddest eyes yet when you approached them, you still managed to give him your usual bright smile.

"Yuuji, let's walk home together today." You said softly.

Your relationship with Johzenji's volleyball team captain wasn't a total secret from everyone at school. Yet there were only quite a few people who knew about it. You both decided to not be so open about your relationship to others for you weren't really one of the popular students and you wanted to stay that way. Yuuji agreed with this because he didn't want you to receive any hate for he was quite popular among the girls at school.

It was all going well. You and Terushima had a quite beautiful relationship. Sometimes, he couldn't control himself from flirting with other girls though, cause that was just his nature and you understood. But today was different.

"Why would I?" Terushima asked, trying to act as cold as he could towards his beloved.

Your heart clenched at his words. Your E/C eyes stared at your boyfriend with your mouth slightly opened and speechless.

Yes, you were cautious about your relationship. But what he said was just completely... painful for some reason.

"Uhm, excuse me but who are you?" The girl asked you, her voice sounded annoyed.

You then again looked at Terushima, your eyes giving him a hint that this was his chance to take back his words.

But he didn't.

"Nobody." You said and started walking away from the two.

Yuuji noticed how your eyelids slowly moved and watched as your eyes opened. Seeing those E/C eyes again, it made his heart flutter.

You turned your head to see the one who was beside you as your eyes adjusted to the sun's rays from the apartment's window.

Your eyes haven't adjusted yet but you already knew it was him. "Yuuji?" You asked with your voice raspy and low, tired from sobbing all night.

His hand rubbed yours once again and spoke. "Hey." The chestnut haired gave you a small smile though you saw nothing but sadness and guilt in his eyes. "You alright, baby?"

It was a stupid question. He knew you weren't. Though, he wanted to know what you were going to answer.

"I'm fine." Lies. Terushima thought.

You started to sit up as your boyfriend sat beside your legs covered in a simple blanket that he put to make sure you were warm enough last night.

"Y/N..." Terushima hesitated for a second but continued. "About yesterday–"

"Let's not talk about it. It's okay." Your heart clenched at your own lie as your lips formed a sad smile.

"Why do you keep doing that?" He asked.

"Doing what?"

"You keep telling me that it's okay when it's most definitely not." The boy's statement made you flinch for the truth had strike you. You then felt your eyes sting and tried your hardest not to breakdown again, especially in front of Yuuji.

The captain held both of your hands as he moved closer to you and stared deeply into your E/C orbs. "Y/N, it's okay to tell me when it's not okay. I know I do a lot of stupid things and I'm terribly sorry. But please, tell me when I hurt you, tell me you hate me, tell me how much of a jerk I am, I'll take it. Because I know I deserve it... Because I've caused you pain."

That was it. The final blow that made your formed tears fall. Your hand made its way to weakly hit Terushima's chest. "I hate you." You said with your voice shaking.

You hit him again. "I hate you." And again. "I hate you. I hate you so fucking much." And again. "I... I hate that I love you so much."

You were about to move your hand again to hit his chest when he suddenly grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you as he cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears before pressing his lips against yours. "I love you." He said after.

Yuuji kissed you again. "I love you." And again. "I love you. I love you, L/N Y/N." And again. Though, this one was a bit longer that you felt millions of butterflies in your stomach. It got deeper at some point for his tongue made its way inside your mouth and you felt the small cold metal on it.

He then slowly pulled away. "I love you." The boy said once again as he stared into your eyes. "And from now on, I promise I'll treat you better."

And he did. Since that day, he would always walk you to class, kiss you in front of girls, introduce you as his beautiful girlfriend to everybody, took you on dates almost every week, and really treated you better than before.

Of course, your relationship wasn't a little secret anymore, but you didn't mind, as long as you and Terushima were happy. That was all that mattered.

—

I promised I wouldn't write any angst but yo this was requested so yeah 😂