A Hug Instead of Saying Something (Camren)

Chapter Forty

--Sorry in advance for the sap.

Enjoy: )

Lauren's POV

Flashback...

"I want an all consuming love, a love that goes beyond reasoning." I voiced looking up at the stars.

Camila and I laid on her roof stargazing like we have been doing since we were in grade school.

"Will you automatically know when the love is all consuming, is there a feeling that comes over you. Does it happen slowly or all at once?" Camila quested.

"I think it's something you should sense automatically, you should just know." I countered.

"I don't think it works that way, I think people who just fall in love instantaneously aren't the real thing. I think passionate love is something that you have to fight for; it's not something that just happens. I don't believe that you just sense it I think something has to ignite passion and desire. Be it an action, or words, or a simple gesture. I want a love that I have to strive for a love that has tested me so that I would fight to keep it. I want an all consuming love that goes beyond reason, but I want to work for it." She voiced.

I turned to look at Camila who was still staring up at the stars. "Love shouldn't be that hard Camila; it should be the most natural thing in the world." I disagreed.

She shakes her head then turned her gaze to me. "Love should be natural I agree with you there, but it cannot be easy. You said that you want an all consuming love, a love that envelopes you but how do you know when you have that. You can be in a relationship and fall in love and it ends up being great, but there's nothing much beyond that. In a passionate—all consuming love you are with someone that you crave on a constant basis. I'm not just talking about sex either I'm talking about just enjoying each other's company. They are the first person you think of in the morning and the last person you think of at night. You're never annoyed with them because you find absolutely everything about them unbearably cute. When you disagree you'll never shut them out because nothing is bigger than the love and understanding you have for one another. It's a love that seems unobtainable but it exists I know it does, and that's exactly what I want." She spoke passionately.

I smiled at her. "That sounds amazing; maybe David will be that for me."

She looks at me for a moment before looking back at the stars. "Yeah, maybe." She sighed a longing in her voice.

"Camz," I called then she turns her attention back to me. "If there's anyone who deserves that type of love it's you, and I really hope you find it one day."

She gives me a slight grin. "I have a feeling that that type of love isn't in the cards for me right now or ever." She spoke.

I gave her a confused look. "I don't understand why wouldn't it be in the cards for you?" I asked.

She gave me a long glance before speaking. "I want it Lauren so badly, but it's unobtainable."

"How so, I don't understand?" I queried.

She just gave me a thoughtful look. "Can we talk about something else?"

Camila never was one to defer from a subject but I respected her wishes but it seems like the subject always sways when the topic of love and relationships broaches.

"Why don't we go and raid your kitchen for cream soda and junk food?" I suggested.

She smiles at me. "That sounds like a great idea."