FAITH (Martin Garrix)✔️

20

Walking around the streets of Amsterdam with the biting cold wind blowing straight in my face wasn't exactly how I imagined my day to go. I didn't know that Martin was this big in Amsterdam, like sure he is the number 1 DJ in the world but honestly it's crazy to see how far some people would go to see him.

I know famous people get stalked by fans but I guess I never imagined Martin like one of those people so it's really overwhelming seeing all those people who would do anything to touch Martin.

Standing on the side watching Martin literally get eaten alive by his fans is kind of scary. He looks so calm but it looks like they're all lions while he is food.

I don't understand how he can be so sweet to all those people, he is such an amazing person and I honestly don't understand what I did to deserve him... I don't deserve him.

I don't think no one will ever deserve him, he is such a caring person inside out and I don't think anyone can ever be good enough for him. No one can ever give him what he deserves.

Martin doesn't even seem faced by all the people which is kind of freakish because I feel a little claustrophobic and I'm not even the one who's surrounded by people.

Alex went in to a shop while Martin took pictures with fans, I don't know why I decided to stay in the cold... but it kind of felt like if I left Martin here alone then he would disappear and I would wake up in my bed only to realize that it all have been a dream... I don't want it to be just a dream.

I don't care how much I'm freezing because every time Martin looks over at me I feel like my whole body is on fire. He makes me feel like no matter how cold the weather is I'll always be warm when I'm with him.

Some people give me weird looks but so far have no one said anything to me, which I am super thankful for. I don't think anyone understand how awkward it is to talk English to people you don't know. Like I find it hard talking Swedish to people I don't know... so when I have to talk English I often stutter and forget the words.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump out of my thoughts. I almost hit Alex when I turn around because of how scared I was, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I do not do great with surprise.

I don't understand people who find being scared something good.

"I'm sorry to cut this short but we have places to be before my friends here return home" I hear Martin say and I can't help but smile because how sweet he is. I can see that he is feeling bad that he has to cut this off but I also know that there is no other way for him to get out of here...

During the time he stayed and took pictures it only came more people. There will always be someone who doesn't get a picture and I know that Martin hates that.

"Hey" He says when he make it over to us. I like how he says it quietly, like he doesn't want anyone else to hear him... It makes me feel like we're in our own little bubble of life.

We walk away but it's something so weird about feeling all those eyes on you, knowing that they're filming on their phones and it will be all over the internet in a couple of hours for anyone to see. It's not something I'll get used to... ever.

"Sorry about it" Martin mumble in to my ear and I can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside when he put his arm around me and his lips touch my ear when he quietly mumble the words. It's like he doesn't care about anything else than me in that second...

I have never been one of those girls that believe that a guy have to do drastic things to show they care... and honestly it's true, guys doesn't have to do big things because those aren't the things we will think about and notice... the things we notice is the small things that you often don't think about that you're doing... because those things show you care.

When you do something without even noticing yourself, it shows that you really care.

If they decide when they show they care... do they really care or are they faking it? Small details will always beat everything for me.

"You two are absolutely disgusting" Alex say and I know he is joking so I just stick my tongue out in a childish manner.

"Anything special you two want to see before you leave?" Martin asks and I shake my head because honestly I don't know that much about Amsterdam and I honestly don't care what we do as long as I can be with him.

I know it sounds stupid but I don't think people fully understand the feeling of being close to someone you like. It doesn't really matter what you do because the butterflies in your stomach is still there...

I wonder if the butterflies stay forever or if they disappear after a while... how do you know if you still like someone if the butterflies disappears?

My thoughts are clouding my mind and I get lost in my own head. I do that a lot and sometimes it's a great way for me to pass time but most of the time I zone out from things and I can't find my way back from my mind. It's like a black hole that sucks me down in to it until I can't think clearly.

Martin and Alex is talking about something I don't really get, they use words I have never heard and it's like they're speaking a different language. It's weird, I don't understand what the hell they're on about so I just walk there beside Martin with his arm around my shoulder like a protection from the world. I walk there without knowing what the hell is going on around me.

We're passing buildings in a blur and I just walk beside them like a shadow. I don't feel like a shadow but I'm not in on their conversation so in some way I kind of am a shadow...

It don't make sense, my feelings doesn't make sense... they're a mess of emotions I can't explain because I don't know how to.

.................

My mind is a weird place and I guess you guys get to know me better by reading this story because it's pretty much all me and my thought and opinions.