Letting the music move my body around the room. I know I probably absolutely ridiculous dancing around the big living room to the music but honestly I couldn't care less. I am absolutely loving the feeling of freedom when I just let my body go and follow the music.
Alex is laughing on the couch trying to keep his phone straight while he is filming me on snapchat... I hate that he is doing it but honestly if your best friend doesn't film and upload on their snap story when you act absolutely stupid are they really your best friend then?
Martin enters the room and he looks at us like we got dropped on our heads at birth. I don't even feel insecure about the way he looks at me which is weird because I usually don't feel comfortable around people who I haven't known for ages.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" He laughs out but when he doesn't get a real answer only some wheezing laughter from Alex he just gives up and makes some absolutely ridiculous moves.
"What even?!" Alex is basically dying on the couch when we dance around the room like two idiots. I love how I can feel like myself around Martin, like I don't have to fake who I am... I don't have to think about my actions or what I'm saying because I know he understand. He just knows what I mean without me having to actually say it correctly.
"I love that you're Different in a cool way!" I sing... okay literally scream the lyrics... Martin is dancing around and grab both my hands and make some stupid attempt to dance together. It looks absolutely ridiculous when we move around and basically just holding hands while trying to keep up with each other's moves.
The song keeps playing and I honestly can't help the laugh that leaves my mouth, I feel so happy... I feel like I'm walking on air, like I am on top of the world.
I don't know how we ended up in the kitchen trying to bake cupcakes without half of the ingredients but somehow we stand here laughing our asses off because of have we put in way too much sugar.
If someone saw us now they would think we're drunk off our asses but we're honestly completely sober... or at least I am I can't talk for the other two idiots who basically want to make vodka cupcakes just to see how they taste... boys.
The music is still blasting out through the speakers and I can't help but just stop for a minute and appreciate this moment. Alex and Martin is playing around like they have known each other for their whole lives. The music is playing so loud that my ears are hurting a little and I feel 100% happy something I haven't felt in so long. I love the feeling of being happy, like completely happy without all the sadness creeping up from behind like a sneaky snake in the back of my mind.
I can feel my whole body moving to the loud music and I'm not even scared of what anyone who might see me through the big windows would think. I feel completely free. It's like someone pressed play. It's the whole world have been moving while I have been standing still but now here I am finally moving in the same phase as everyone else.
I am having a hard time keeping up with everything that is happening around me, like everything is finally happening all at once. All those years of feeling like I don't belong anywhere, all those years of feeling like I would be better off dead are in the past. I feel like I belong here and I feel like it's all so unreal.
People like me don't belong with people like Martin. This isn't how it works from where I am, you don't get out in the world, you get stuck in one place... and in those places you get married to someone you don't really love but you have been together sense you were 16 and you don't see the point of breaking up... when you're 40 you get divorced and only move a couple of minutes away... you either end up with a kid who is troubled and either get knocked up or knock someone up before they turn 18.... Or you get the kid who ends up being the popular kid in school and they end up drinking their life away behind your back... that's the reality I live in....
I guess that's why I have felt like I was misplaced. I never felt like I belonged... because truth to be told I was meant for something bigger than that. I was never meant for that life...
The time passes and I can't help but feel like there is a glow coming Martin, no I'm not crazy I can't see it, but it's like when you can just feel that someone is happy. The smile on his lips is making him look like an angel.
"I never want to leave!" Alex suddenly say, and just like that it feels like the perfect moment is shattered, like all the happiness that was hanging in the air is crashing to the ground in the speed of light.
The air goes from being light and happy to slowly closing in on me.... This is not forever, this will end... I'll be back in my own bed in 24 hours and having to wake up on Monday and go back to my life like this weekend didn't happen...
No one mention what Alex said but it's still there hanging in the air like a big black cloud that is hunting us through the night.
"Stay with me?" Martin asks when we all are getting ready for bed. The hand he put on my arm makes it hard for me to even consider going in and sleeping in the same room as Alex... so I follow him in to the bedroom and just lay down beside him on the bed. We lay there looking in to each other eyes in the dark. The only light in the room is the one that comes from the city outside.
The way the lights from the city makes his blue eyes sparkle is something that words can't explain, he just looks so beautiful with those tired eyes and that lazy smile.
"You're so beautiful and you don't even have to try" he says and break the silence, it's like those words have a deeper meaning that anyone of us is letting on.
I just smile like those words didn't just changed my whole world and the way I look at myself... it's weird how someone can look at you and see something while someone else doesn't...
We usually don't see beauty in ourselves because we're all too busy picking on our flaws to realize that it's our flaws that makes us beautiful... it's our flaws that makes us unique... it's our flaws that makes us who we are.
"I don't want to leave... I feel like I'm a stranger in my own life." I whisper out in to the dark room. I know he hears me and I'm scared that he won't understand. I'm scared for a split second that I thought wrong, that and he doesn't understand but then he looks at me and I know he understands.
YOU ARE READING
FAITH (Martin Garrix)✔️
Fanfiction"Hi." The outlines of the words that he's forming with his lips that I can't hear but I so clearly see when he waves a little makes my cheeks heat up, I'm sure he can't see it because of the lighting in here but I feel them getting red. "Hi." I mou...
