FAITH (Martin Garrix)✔️

23

Waking up on Monday morning is hard, waking up and knowing that I have to go to school is usually a hard thing but waking up knowing that I have no idea when I'll see Martin again is harder.

Getting dressed is literally mission impossible because all I want is to go back to bed and take a nap until next time I see Martin. I never thought I would be so smitten with a boy, this is not who I am as a person.

Walking like a zombie around the house everything going on routine, I'm not even sure if I'm fully awake, but truth to be told I don't really give a fuck if I am fully awake or not.

The wind is cold when I get outside the door and it literally takes everything inside of me not to turn around and go back inside in to the warmth of my home.

Everything just seems to go so slow and everything seems worthless until that familiar sound comes from my phone... a text.

From Martijn: Morning love, I know you're on your way to school now and you really don't want to go but just hang in there we will see each other soon. I miss you xx

I type a fast replay and then see that I am late so I have to run to catch the bus. It's a freaking miracle that I haven't missed it more times with the troubles I have getting up in the mornings.

The bus is actually in time which is a little of a surprise because it usually isn't. I make it just in time which is something I am so grateful for because if I had missed it then the next bus goes in like 2 hours and that sucks... the struggles of living in a small town.

"Hi" I say when I sit down beside Isabelle, she's a friend from back before I went to school to become a chef, she goes to school to become a doctor.

"Morning" She says and gives me a small smile before we both put in our headphones and just sit in silence listening to music. She is going off at the stop before me and there is always that little awkwardness when I don't know if I just should move a little so she can get passed me or if I should stand up.

Like would it be weird if I stood up? But does it feel like I'm not giving her space enough if I sit and just move a little so she can get passed.

It's so weird because truth to be told Isabelle is one of my closest friends and she probably doesn't give a fuck about how I do it as long as she gets off on her stop, but still here I am long before her stop thinking about what to do and when.

Like when would be the right time to do something so it doesn't seem like I have been thinking about it the whole bus ride...

I hate how much my brain thinks, like why are those things on my mind almost all the time, like what?

I end up just moving a little bit so she can get pass and she doesn't seem bothered about it so that is a great thing.

The day passes kind of in a blur and I honestly don't know how I go through it all. I feel like a zombie just walking to a destination that I don't know where it's located at.

Somehow I end up on the sofa at home with my phone in my hand and my headphones plugged in to it. Song after song comes on shuffle and I can't really focus on anything until Waiting for Superman comes on... it was one of my favorite songs before and I always had people laughing at me for it...

But I thought it was so romantic, but truth to be told I feel like I was waiting for superman... but now? Now it feels like he actually showed up.

Superman did actually lift me up in his arms and take me anywhere...

I don't know how my life got so turned around but somehow just hearing that song reminds me that I am actually super lucky. I am so lucky to have someone as amazing as Martin in my life. Sure I will miss him a lot but truth to be told, if it's meant to be then it will all be worth it.

"Hanna?" I look up at my brother who is standing in the door with my laptop in his hand. I look at him with surprise until I hear the voice coming from the laptop.

"He called on skype and I realize you didn't hear it so I answered for you." He says and hands me the laptop where the most beautiful person ever appears on the screen.

"Hi" I say and I can't help but let the smile on my face grow super big, it makes me so happy just seeing him there... I miss him already.

"I missed you!" He says and have that beautiful smile on his face, a smile that makes the butterflies in my stomach go all kinds of crazy. He makes my brain go all mushy and he turns me in to a giggling mess.

He makes me happy.

I don't know how long we talk I just know that the feeling of loneliness goes away and I don't miss him all that much anymore, because he is here with me now...

But as soon as we hang up the feeling comes creeping back on me, that feeling that tells me that he is all the way over there and I'm here... and I trust him but we're not official so in all honesty there is nothing that says that I am the only one....

Nothing more than him and he doesn't say it because he maybe thinks it's obvious that I'm the only one, but truth to be told I overthink things a lot and I hate that I do it but that's just who I am and I want to be official so I don't have to have that nagging voice in my head.

I trust Martin but there is always that little doubt because of the fact that we're not official.

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So... I don't know if I told you guys before about my crush... but life update: my crush is now my boyfriend.