Obsession

Confession

(Is it too late right now to put a warning??? Well this is probably the saddest, most depressed chapter that will be in this story. If attempting suicide and depression bothers anyone please skip over this chapter.)

Maul leads Feral back to their room after they ate. Well it was more like after Feral ate and Maul gazed into space. Although Feral did get his older brother to eat a bit of food, so Feral called that a success. Feral was still concerned about Maul, as he was eating it looked like something had bothered him. Almost like a youngling pouting when something didn't go their way.
Once they were in their room, they laid down on their beds. The sun would be setting on Dathomir and Maul was use to Dathomirian cycles, which were shorter than Mandalorian cycles. When Maul closed his eyes he saw something next to his brother's bed.
Feral waited until he sensed that his brother fell asleep. He quietly got out of his bed to pick up the thing that caught his eye. He saw that it was a vial of some sorts. He opened the vial to see that it was empty. Feral wanted to think that Satine or the medical droid gave Maul the vial, but he didn't remember it happening.
He quietly walked to the door of their room and looked back at Maul. He wished he could make his brother happy again. He didn't know how though, he was grateful for having Maul still alive and he was sure Maul felt the same. Feral held onto the vial tightly and made it a mission to figure out what was in the vial. He left the room and started to wander around the ship looking for Satine. As he walked throughout the ship he passed by a window that showed Dathomir. He stopped and stared out at the dead looking planet. It only reminded him of his very first trip off of his home planet. He felt so sad and lonely as he reflected on the memory. His mother had sent him to a planet to be a undercover slave to Zygerians to rescue Obi-wan. It had been his first time in seeing his eldest brother as well and Sidious. Before he ever left the planet he constantly heard his mother talk about her hatred for Sidious and how she wanted revenge. Now all of it had broken his only brother, after all the death he witnessed with his own eyes. Feral only wished he was there to help them, but he pushed all of that aside. He had to find Satine.
After wandering around for a while he found Satine in the mess hall.
"Satine." Feral spoke calmly walking up to her.
"Oh, Feral! I thought you were heading to bed." Satine stood up after she finished her food.
"Do you k-know what this is?" Feral struggled a bit with speaking. He held out the vial and Satine's face was drained of blood when she saw the vial.
"Feral... where did you find this?" Satine took the vial from him to find it empty. She covered her mouth with one of her hands as her eyes started to water.
"N-next to my b-brother's bed." Feral answered her the best he could and without another word she started marching to Feral's and Maul's room.
"S-Satine?!" Feral shouted quickly following after her. She barged into the room and went straight over to Maul. Surprising Feral, Satine had pushed Maul off of his bed.
"What the hell Maul!" Satine shouted at him as Maul groaned confused sitting up on the floor.
"What are you going on about now?" Maul groaned glaring up at Satine seeing that she was about to cry and she threw the vial at him.
"That! That is what I'm going on about Maul! How in the galaxy could you take that? You know damn well that could have been poison! How could you do that? You could have been killed! If you died you would have been leaving Feral!" Satine shouted at him and he growled and marched over to her.
"You don't think I didn't know that?! You don't think that I didn't think about that?! Mother gave me that potion knowing damn well that I would take it! I have tried! I have damn well tried my hearts out! As soon as you think you find someone! You end up falling in love with them! You put so much into them!" Maul shouts into Satine's face.
"And than what happens? They get ripped away from you! You think they're going to save you from yourself. From your past and love you and cherish you for who you are! But they break you! They rip you into so many pieces that you can't even see where to start to put yourself back together! I tried! But everything I say is wrong! Everything I do is wrong! Even when I think I'm doing the right thing! I apparently wrong! I can't pretend like everything is alright! I can't do that like you and Feral! Because nothing is alright and it never will be alright! I... just began know Feral and understand him and he's my brother! I barely know you! But you weren't the one who found me, who brought me home. To Dathomir. You weren't the one I fought. You weren't the one who had hurt me, who drove me insane! You weren't the one I had hurt. You weren't the ones who I was ripped away from. I doubt Feral was even born when that happened. Feral only reminds me of Savage, of how things could of been and how I failed him. And you Satine. You remind me of Kenobi so... damn much that I just can't take it no more! Everyone I knew, Mother, Savage, Kenobi. Kenobi. I thought I would never lose them. They were... the strongest people I ever knew! And the same... god damned person keeps ripping it all alway!" Maul's eyes were waterfalls as he kept talking. He turned away from her and punched the wall making a hole in it with no effort.
"I don't want to live like this anymore! I can't fucking stand it!" Maul let's his head fall against the wall as he cried.
"I won't be able to live another second if anyone else I know gets taken away from me by that monster. And I don't want either of you to have me taken by him either." Maul falls to his knees with his head against the wall he tries to take deep breaths.
"I'd rather end my life with my own hands." Maul admitted
Satine was left speechless from Maul's outburst, Feral walked over to his older brother and sat down next to him.
"Brother. I know I'm not Savage and I know I don't know how are feeling about Obi-wan, but I lost mom and Savage too. I know that it's hard to be strong, and that you've been strong all of your life. Not by your muscles or your fighting skills, but to protect everyone you ever known. Sidious forced you into that life and I remember that day like it was yesterday. Sidious had knocked mother down after getting ahold of you. Savage and I tried to help. Sidious had you by one arm and we hand you by the other. No matter how much Savage was jealous of you always getting mother's attention, we still did everything we could to help you. You had attacked Sidious the first time he tried hurting mother." Feral had shifted Maul so he's look at him. He spoke quietly knowing that shouting could possibly only make it worse. Tears started to run from his eyes as well.
"I understand how you feel about Dathomir, brother. We're all alone now. It's just us. I can't bare to lose you too. You don't know how many times after that battle where I wished I had died in my sleep. But brother. We have each other. We must stay strong for each other. We both miss mom and Savage I know that and I would give anything for them to be back. I would give anything to bring everyone back. But we can't do that. And we can not let Sidious get the pleasure of the killing off the last Nightbrothers. The Night clans do not fall easy. Do not let that bastard in your mind brother. Your death is all he wants and you can not give that to him. Look at all the times you fought against him! He's only afraid because he knows that you're stronger than he is! He doesn't have people who love him and will fight for him until their end. We are warriors, brother and we have other warriors looking out for us. Life is not completely cruel, look! You still got me, Satine and Arsayh! You're the leader of an army for galaxy sake! For a moment in your life you had a mate. Not all of us gets the chance to find their mate. Be happy about the memories you made with them. You can Moran about their passings, but you must remember brother. They are in the Force now. They are all around us. Mother, Savage, Brother Viscus, the Nightsisters, the Nightbrothers and Obi-wan. They never left us. They're still here watching us, wanting us to move on with our lives. Everyone we know put their lives on the line like any other warrior would, but with love and compassion and the want for us to live."  Feral sipped his and Maul tears away.
"So let's live for them Maul. What she gave you as we can tell now wasn't poison, so it must have been something else. Mother saved you brother. If that was poison why would she want you to die alone and not in her arms with her?" Feral said and Maul silently pulled Feral into a hug and cried into his shoulder. Feral hugged his older brother back and rubbed his back. Satine watched for a bit longer as Feral softly whispered into Maul's ear. She smiled sadly at the brothers as they both cried. Seeing that she wasn't needed, she left the room.