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Something I'd hoped to never see, my baby in a casket, I rubbed her face gently and rested my hand on her stomach as a tear slid down my face; I held her son Marcel in my arms, he still doesn't get why this is the last time he'll be able to see her face.
Everyone took their seats as we all listened to the minister speak, a few members of her family along with Tupac's were able to speak; next was me; I handed Marcel to Amina before getting up and stiffly walking to the stage.
I stood before the podium before looking at both Tupac and Michel'le's family, which was the hardest part; I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to speak, I breathed slowly and hoped that the words would flow.
I cleared my throat while looking down and finally started to speak, "Tupac Shakur and Michel'le Toussaint.... Both two talented, kind hearted and hardworking people."
I continued, "When I first started Ruthless, Michel'le was my first R&B artist; she went through a lot, hardly complained and kept a smile on her face. She was funny, happy and even though she went through so much, she stayed positive.."
"Tupac was different and the smartest, hardworking nig- man I'd ever seen.. Whenever he'd get faced with something, he'd come out strong; they both were close friend's... And then some to me, and the fact that I won't see them again", I say as my tears blured my vision.
"It hurts... But I am happy that both of them are in a beautiful place. Safe from all this madness; I just wanna stay strong for Le's son, make sure pac's family has everything they need and Make them proud."
They clapped and patted my back as I exited the stage and walked to the back of the church, out of the double doors and into the restroom.
I leaned against the wall as I finally broke down, all my thoughts tore me apart at once but the one that's fucking me up the most will not go away.
"I'm in love with Le, but its too late..."
I should have been there to stop them.. "Would I leave Amina for Michel'le?", Again no but I do want to feel her touch, her kiss and see her smile again, I got myself together and walked back out to the funeral. Marcel put his hands up from me so I picked him up as I walked around talking to her family.
"Mommy not coming back?", He asked.
I rubbed his hair, "Your mommy up there safe.... And happy."
"Okay", He says as he laid on my shoulder.
I didn't know what to tell him, how do you explain to a baby that they're never going to see their mother again? When their mother was beautiful, strong, and always happy.
When the funeral was over, we headed over Amina's mother's house; I held Mina tight along with Marcel, Aaliyah and Faith. Shit got too thick and the only thing that can make you feel whole.. Is family.
• NextDay •
The next day I finally decided to go back to work, it was a hard decision but I figured they would want me to be strong; I parked my car and walked towards the entrance and saw hella reporters coming out the woodwork with flashing cameras, taking pictures and asking question.
"Is it true that you got Michel'le pregnant!?'
"Did you kill Michel'le!?"
"What's your motive!?"
"Why did you decide to continue your career!?"
"Why do you love fame!?"
I sighed before looking into the camera as I scratched my chin.
"Love fame?", I chuckled. "If anything I hate it; everyone thinks the music industry is money, houses, cars and bitchez but no; the music industry is a filthy thing, along with money, houses cars and bitchez comes a price and we all pay that shit back one way or another."
"Is that your way of saying you murdered Michel'le?", One reporter asked.
I frowned, "I would never hurt her, that was my way of saying everything that glitters ain't gold; and honestly... She's the only reason I started working again, I don't want everything that has happened to be in vain; they both deserve better than that.
• LaterThatNight •
I picked Amina, Marcel and the girls up from Amina's mother's house before driving back to our house; it was silent the whole time.
When we finally got home, we walked inside and it was trashed; everything smashed and broken, a never ending cycle that I'm fuckin sick and tired of.
I called Ren hoping he'd answer the phone.
"Hello?"
"Wassup man", I say before sitting on our ripped up couch.
"Nun much just chillin", He answered.
'That's coo, aye... Can you do me a lil favor?", I ask.
"Wassup man"
"See we need a place to stay for a lil minute an-."
"See I'd love to help you cause we boys and erthang, but... I have a family and, you know."
"I have a family to and I'm tryna keep them safe", I say with a frown.
