Chapter 20

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My day started earlier than usual. I couldn't get anymore sleep because my damn phone kept going off. Valorie and Victoria felt the need to let me know that they were now in Atlanta. Valorie even went on and texted me the hotel they were staying in, along with their photo shoot information. It's not like I'll be doing anything with any of that though.

I was going to get up slightly earlier anyway. I wanted to avoid pops at all cost this morning. What he said to me hurt me tremendously. I'm probably just being overly sensitive though. I just need to suck it up and get through this damn day.

Even though I tried to avoid him, he was standing in the foyer as soon as I walked down the stairs. Judging by how he was looking, he was waiting for me to come down.

"Where do you think you're going? It isn't even seven o'clock yet."

Seeing him made me sad. I know I need to stop being a little bitch about everything though.

Without words, I walked towards the door. Of course he got in the way though. I should have gotten up even earlier.

"Son I'm sorry for hurting your feelings."

Even after his apology, I still feel the same way as I've been feeling. I don't get a lot of love. Not real, genuine love. There are a lot of people who pretend to be cool with me just because of what I have. Perfect example: Nia. I just want to have people who actually care about me in my life. I'm sure pops cares, but I'm feeling a lot like a obligation to him. It's like he puts up with me just because he promised grandma that he would.

"Umm... you didn't..."

I looped a piece of my hair around my finger. For now, I have my hair down. I can't find any damn hair ties. I'm pretty sure I have some in my book bag though. If I wear my hair down, girls will try to play in my hair all day. That's why I usually always wear it up in a bun.

"You give yourself away every time you lie to me. I hope you know that."

I didn't really know what to say back to that, so I simply stared at him. He let out a chuckle.

"I meant what I said, but I could have said it better. You need to start living more. You're always so uptight and closed up. All you do is go to school, and come home. Then when you do come home, you do your homework then go to bed. What are your plans for the weekend?"

My plan is to stay far away from a certain two people.

"Oh well there are a few movies I want to watch."

"My boy." He smiled. "So you're going to the theater? Going with some people from school?"

"If by theater you mean my room, then yeah. Of course."

He threw his hands up in the air then facepalmed himself for a brief moment.

"Son, you have got to start living more. I'm the grandpa, not you!"

That made me chuckle.

"See." He lightly pinched my arm. "I don't say things to be mean to you. I love you kid. I just want you to be happy."

"I am."

That was a lie that I didn't even believe. Lately I've been very down. Moreso than usual.

"Tell that lie to someone that hasn't been knowing you for seventeen years. Seriously. You know, you were happier when you were doing the shoots for the Branded website."

There's some truth to that. I can't deny it. That was also when grandma was alive. I was very self conscious, but through her directing my shoots, I was able to find some confidence within myself.

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