The Resistance

Chapter 54

{Jahmir}

So far today has gone nothing like I expected. I was hoping to spend some time with Kaelynn earlier in the day so we could talk, but she said she was busy. She wouldn't even say what she was doing.

Since she blew me off, I spent most of the day in and out of sleep. I was going to go spend most of the day at the help center, but Kelly started acting kind of weird towards me. AJay hadn't responded to any of my texts so far today. Everyone is just acting odd today.

Around three, I got up, showered and got dressed. Nothing too fancy. It's just dinner with family. If I had my way I would just sit here all day and not even go downstairs for dinner. This time of the year is the only time I see most of the family anyway. Pops will probably be up here any minu...

"MEEERRY CHRISTMASSSS!" Pops busted into my room as I sat on the bottom of my bed. I knew he wasn't gonna let me stay up here for too long.

"Merry Chr-"

"TO YOUUUUU!" He sung. "TO ALL OF YOUUUU OOOO OOO!"

I was about to say something, but of course he continued singing.

"Siiilent night. Holy night." He cleared his throat. "ALLLLL is calm, A-A-A-All is bright!"

I tried my best to just tone him out, but it was hard. He literally stood there and sung the whole song to me. But I'd rather see his happy side than his downed, depressed side.

When he was done, his eyebrows furrowed. He stood there with an angry look on his face until I finally caught on to why.

"Oh that was a good performance pops." I clapped for him and pretended like that wasn't the worst rendition of that song I'd ever heard.

He smiled and took a few bows. "Thank you. Them R&B cats ain't got nothin' on me." He popped his invisible collar.

I turned my attention back to my TV, so he casually stepped in front of it and blocked my view.

"I would ask you to help me finish cooking, but someone wants to talk to you." Judging by his suddenly serious demeanor, I could tell this day was going to go from bad to worse.

"Who?"

"I'm gonna go get them. Please have an open mind when you talk to this person. I'll send them in."

He immediately walked out my room after that. I automatically felt myself jump into defense mode. He knows I'm not much of a confrontational person, so whoever this is must be somebody that's done me dirty. Sadly that doesn't narrow down who it could be. As long as it isn't Valorie or Victoria, I'll be okay I think. I'd be glad to never see either one of those bitches ever again.

Pondering on who it could be was short lived, because soon, my brother came into the room. He could probably see the anger in my expression, because he didn't come too far in the room.

"Hi big brother."

Oh today I'm big brother. The other week I was a no good evil bastard who deprived him of a normal childhood. I didn't want to see him either honestly. He should have went back to Vegas or wherever the fuck Valerie's living now.

"Oh now I'm your big brother? I thought I was a murderer. Get the hell out my room."

"Please just hear me out. I-"

"Jackson, please leave."

"Stop being so stubborn. I just wanna talk."

"Stubborn?" I stood up and walked over to him. He probably thought I was about to hit him judging by the fear in his eyes. Despite however I feel, I know I can't do that to him. "Jackson, I already had a chance to hear you out. Now hear me. You made me feel so low when you cussed me out in front of everybody. Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was? I already have to deal with shit from everybody else and I didn't need it from you too. You don't know me from a stranger on the street yet you believed all the nasty things YOUR mother had to say about me? So is that why you never responded to all the letters I've sent you over the last ten years."

Even though I couldn't be there for Jackson physically, I still wanted him to know how much I cared about him. With the help of pops and grandma, I would send him letters all the time. I never got a response though. Now thinking about it, Valerie's evil ass probably never gave them to him.

He tried to touch me but I pushed his hand away as hard as I could. Tears formed in his eyes, and I honestly didn't give a fuck. He didn't care how he made me feel when he embarrassed me with false information. "Keep your hands to yourself.

"Jahmir I'm sorry. But I was just a young kid when she started telling me those things about you. Mom convinced me that I should just ignore your letters, so I did. I found them in her room one day. Had I not she would have never told me about them. But besides that, how was I supposed to know she wasn't telling the truth about you? You can't get mad at me."

That's the problem. Lately I've been mad as hell at the world. No matter the positive energy I tried to give out, negativity always found itself back to me. At this point I just feel like saying fuck everybody. Maybe it's my time to be selfish just like everyone else around me.

"So tell me Jackson: If someone accused you of being a murderer of a very loved family member in front of most of your family, how would you feel?"

He decided he wanted to get defensive all of a sudden. "This isn't about me. It's about you. How did you get away with it for thirteen years?"

That's the question he should have been asking himself all along. If Valorie so called knew what I did, why didn't she frame me for it back then? I was really young so I know I wouldn't have gone to prison, but I'm sure there would have been something they could have done to me as punishment. It certainly wouldn't have been going to live with my elderly grandparents.

"This might sound crazy to you, but I got away with it because I didn't fucking do it! I'm kinda lost. Have we not been having the same conversation?"

I realized my aggression almost got the better of me when I bucked up at him. Suddenly I got a good idea. An idea that would be better than continuing to have a dead conversation.

"Sit." I motioned towards the foot of my bed.

As he sat down, I went to my closet. It took me a while to dig through all my stuff, but I finally found what I was looking for: a medium sized box. I brought it to my bed and started looking through it.

"What is all this stuff?" Jackson asked as I removed a few things.

I was starting to think what I was looking for wasn't in my stuff anymore until Jackson held it up. A newspaper. When dad died in that fire, it made the front page. I kept it all these years.

As he read it, I found the drawings that would have been his first birthday gift at the bottom of the box.

His face alone expressed just how bad he felt about doubting me. "Jahmir I'm so-"

"Honestly I don't wanna hear it. Now that you know the truth, you can leave."

He put the article down then he got up and walked towards the door.

"Jackson?" I followed him over to the door.

"Happy birthday." I handed him the drawings then I shut the door.

Sighing, I laid back on my bed, attempting to go back to sleep.