I am sorry that I haven't written in awhile, I have been dealing with some-...well, a lot of stuff...I don't really wanna talk about it. Anyways here you go, I am sorry, but hopefully this will make it up.
Ok so tell me if this makes any sense, I cook dinner, serve it, fold laundry, do dishes, clean the house, and stay out of my dad's way yet he says that I don't help and that everything is my fault...well, sorry.
I'm sorry that I forgot to do a few dishes when I had done all the others and sorry I was too busy doing my homework to notice that the washer needed reset. I am also sorry to all the kids at school.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you. I am sorry I'm not good enough for you. I am sorry I don't fit in. I AM FUCKING SORRY THAT I AM ME!!!...sorry, I am crying now. It's just I am sick and tired of people saying that I am just "that slut" or "the little insecure bitch" or "a fucking screw up". You know what, FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!! I CAN'T HELP IT I'M NOT YOUR DEFINITION OF PERFECT!!!!!!...I'm sorry...
I am sorry for all my rants, I am sorry for all my tears, I am sorry for all my pain and hurt that I write in this diary. You are my only friend and one day I'm gonna be gone, and people are going to find you and read you to find out why I killed myself.
I promise you, I will hold on for as long as I can and maybe I will make it through this, (highly unlikely), maybe it will all get better (ya right). Hell, who am I kidding, there are only a few, fucked up, nearly impossible, ways things could get better
1. My dad dies. (haha)
2. All the kids at school die. (haha haha)
3. I die. (maybe...just maybe)
4. Everyone dies. (hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha haha)
5. Someone comes along and saves me from all of this...(yeah that's what I need, my own superman...my personal hero...my savior...my knight in shining armor...)
Who am I kidding, that's never going to happen. I have always been alone in this cruel, fucked up hell hole and I will die alone and hopefully go somewhere than a burning hell...but if I do go to Hell at least it will be better than this.
I have to go and do my homework, cook dinner, and do chores before dad gets home...thx for letting me rant...love ya diary...be back soon...hopefully.
Sooooo...how am I doing...ya I know it probably sucks but plz let me know if I am doing ok. I need a little feedback.
Well, love ya'll, I will try to write more.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary,
RomanceThis is the story of a girl named Autumn, she is 14 and doesn't have the best home or school life. 5 years ago this wasn't the case, she was a happy, worry-free girl who was always smiling. However, as she got older she realized that life wasn't so...
