Dear Diary,

Homework

Ok so I am very pissed right now.......long story........but I do this to let out emotions so I have to say it anyways..........give me a second.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I am still pissed but it's under control now (not really but whatever). So tell me does this make any sense?

Friday: Normal routine, abuse from dad, anxiety and stress from school, bullying from students. I get home and start on homework then dad walks in and says,

 "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

"Homework."

"IT'S FUCKING FRIDAY, AND YOU HAVE CHORES TO DO!!!!!! YOU CAN DO THAT SHIT LATER!!."

My heart began to race, "Yes, dad, what are my chores for today."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!!!!!! SAME AS ALWAYS!!! DISHES, LAUNDRY, SWEEP, MOP, COOK, ROOM, AND TONIGHT NO MUSIC!!!!!!! THAT SHIT IS TOO LOUD AND TONIGHT HAS TO BE PERFECT!!!"

Oh shit, how am I going to block the sound out, "Why?"

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK????? TONIGHT I AM HAVING A SPECIAL GUEST OVER AND I DON'T WANT OUR FUN RUINED BY YOUR NOISE!!!!!! I AM LEAVING AND BY THE TIME I GET BACK I WANT THE HOUSE SPOTLESS!!!!!!"

Fuck. Fun. Oh boy, tonight is going to be worst than normal, "Yes, father."

On his way out the door, he turned to me, "I MEAN SPOTLESS!!!!"

So now I am sitting on my bed, doing homework at 8 pm on a Friday. I just realized I don't put dates on these, whoever finds this is going to be all fucked up trying to figure out what happened when. Ok, so it is Friday, October 14, so ya. 

Oh umm, when dad said "their fun" he didn't mean just sex, he meant that it wasn't going to just be sex, he must have found someone who is a slut at heart. Every once in a while he will find a girl and for about 2 weeks she will come over on weekends and they would have sex. 

Now, normally it is just drunken sex, slurs, moans, bangs, noises. But when dad actually describes it as "fun", then it is even more. So when I say tonight is going to be a long night I mean it's going to be a,

LLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG.

ASS.

NIGHT. 

 Now the reason I am so pissed is because he knows I listen to music when he comes home with some drunken whore. He KNOWS this and yet now that he is really going to have fun, I can't listen to music. I can't deal with this, I have to have something to block out the sound, I need something that will occupy me and block out the sound but not make any noise that dad and the "special guest" can hear and it ruin their "fun".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I think I am good now, anyways I better go and finish my homework so I can think of other things than Algebra and Literature and think of how the fuck I'm gonna survive the night. I will be back sometime.......if I survive. Thx for being there, and thx for being my only friend.