Dear Diary,

Gone

Ok, both best and worst day of my life. First Grey and I make the "crush deal" and then mom and dad get into a fight and he leaves...........

Dad got home from wherever he was and mom got home about an hour after I got home. Dad was yelling at me and accusing me of putting clean clothes in the laundry, but mom stood up for me and then he turned and backhanded her right across the mouth. 

I screamed for him to stop but then he just turned around and slapped me. Mom yelled and told him to get out but that just caused more arguing until he stomped out of the house, cussing up a storm all the way out.

I don't know how this is going to work out, mom and I are staying at the house but who knows where dad is. I am so scared, he hasn't ever hit me before and mom stood up for me and had to pay for it. Also, who knows if he is going to stay away, he is gone for now but whether he stays gone is another thing. If he comes back......mom might take him back. 

They were high school sweethearts, love at first sight, and I don't know how much it takes to break that love. She loves him, I know it and who knows if that love will go. I am really hoping that he can stay away and get his act together............who am I kidding, he is going to drink himself to sleep and probably find some slut and bang her all night.

.......What am I saying? I shouldn't think like that. I still love him....he is my dad....I will always love him. When I was little he was so loving and then things got hard and he changed but I still love him. I can't lose that, no matter how hard I try I can't just not love him.

Holy shit I just realized something. Grey doesn't know about how I have been getting the shit beat out of me every day and he doesn't know about this. He can't know, I can tell him that he left but I can't say why. I will go to the pond tomorrow and tell him about it, he has to know something about what is going on.

Also, I will bring my diary to school from now on, I might not write in it at all but I want it with me, I don't trust to keep it at home anymore. If dad comes back then I have the feeling he will try to trash the place. I would rather not have my diary ruined, it is all I really have that says who I really am.

Well, I better go, it is getting late and we have a test tomorrow in German. I need my sleep so I can actually somewhat think tomorrow. Thx for letting me vent, I will be back sometime later.

Ok, so I am sorry that I haven't written in awhile. I have been busy with some stuff and I actually wrote this chapter during some free time at school so sorry if it sucks.

Also, I haven't got much feedback. I would greatly appreciate it if you guys would at least say something about this. I AM DIEING HERE!!!

THOUGHTS
FEELINGS
COMMENTS

Love ya, I will try to write more often.