Dear Diary,

Mom

Ok, so my mom actually came home early last night and dad was yelling at her and then she just left and dad said that this was all my fault. Ok, so like what the fuck, how is it my fault? Anyways, she came home and found him doing nothing but getting wasted, while I was working my butt off cleaning the house.

Mom has always thought that I only helped clean, but in reality, I do everything. Well, dad yelled at me and told me that I should have gotten it done sooner because then their fight wouldn't have happened. 

Well, now they might split up and who knows what will happen to me, I could end up going with my mom (YAY!!!), I could end up stuck here in this hell hole with just my dad (plz no), or I could end up somewhere else...or this will turn out and everything will go back to normal.

Then again nothing about my life is normal, I do all the house chores and get no credit, I get abused and bullied, but no one cares, and my family's lives would be better if I just disappeared. If someone finds this after I kill myself, whether I do it in a few years, months, or even weeks or days, I want you to know that I love my mom.

I love her with all my heart, she has never wronged me, she works late and doesn't care anymore because of my dad's bull shit. My mom is the only person who cares about me in this cruel world, she is like me, broken but holding on.

So, until the day mom leaves, gives up or disappears, she is holding on, just like me, until I can't take it anymore and kill myself, all of it ends and its all ok, or someone comes and saves me I am just holding on even though I am pretty much, broken beyond repair.

You know what's funny but heartbreaking, even though my dad is an ass hole I still love him........I do, when I was little he was "the best daddy ever" and "I loved him so much". I still do love him, he abuses and hurts me but I still care about him because I always have and I always will.

I am not afraid to say it, but I'm sure this will be the only time I will say it but I do. Even though he hates me and hurts me on a daily basis, I refuse to hate him too. I love you daddy and if one day I am gone and you are reading this know that it is too late to make it up to me now but you could have done something.

So to whoever finds this tell my dad and mom I loved them, I always did, and I always will. After all they put me through I still love them, they may not love me but I do. I better go so that I can do the chores and get my homework done. I will be back....sometime.