RAPID CYCLING POEMS

IT'S A FUNNY OLD LIFE

IT’S A FUNNY OLD LIFE

It’s a funny old life said the husband to his wife, now please pass the knife and butter

I’ve worked all day, I’m tired and grey, so where’s my beer and supper

The wife looked up, saying get it yourself, you lazy, bleeding bugger

Get off your arse, it’s on the shelf, if it’s not too much trouble or bother

I’ve just sat down, she said with a frown, I wish I’d married your brother

The husband glared, as if he cared, he’d secretly been seeing another

You can talk, you whore, you tart, you’re just like your old mother

I should have guessed you’d be like her, she was a downright nutter'

The wife enraged, began to shout as loud as she could utter

She charged at him, her face all red, he stood his ground but shuddered

It was a sight, those trembling thighs, all he could see was blubber

What could he do, fight or flight, he tried to speak but stuttered

Then in his hand he felt the knife, so swung with it and cut her

He sliced her throat, just like a goat, before she even muttered

She tumbled down, right to the ground, she didn’t seem to suffer

You’re out my life thought the husband of his wife, for years he had not loved her

It’s a funny old life said the husband to his dead wife, but in truth I have a new lover!