RAPID CYCLING POEMS

DON'T WANT TO LIVE

DON’T WANT TO LIVE

I sit and stare, silent, broken and desperate in my chair

Studying the delicate veins just beneath the paper thin skin

All this pain has become too much for me to bear

I can’t go on, nothing but an empty void within

No hope in sight, I’m all alone, my friends have gone away

Deserted by my family, I was just too much for them

Salvation for me is pointless, for my soul I cannot pray

It’s over now, decided, it’s not, what if, just when

I fumble with the silver blade, so sharp between my fingers

I need great courage to do this, but I am so afraid

Somewhere inside a speck of hope still enticingly lingers

Once this is done, I can’t go back, all debts and dues are paid

But what of those I’ve left behind, will they mourn and weep

Or just rejoice they’re finally free to get on with their lives?

They’ve watched me ruin everything with my reckless insanity

With me gone they can move on; their lives can be repaired

And so I sit alone and stare, mentally broken in this chair

I dwell on what I could have done to change my past for better

It seems to me that life’s design isn’t just or fair

Perhaps I should have just been strong, determined, a go getter

Yes I had dreams just like the rest, of happiness and of love

But some of us aren’t fit for life or what it takes and gives

I tried so hard to keep a grip, to hold the cup and take a sip

But failed each time, I let it slip, gave up, the bud is nipped

The time has come for me to go, goodbye cruel world

Sadly

It appears that I just don’t want to live.