Regrets are Always at the End

Kabanata 13

Myrick's POV

Today was Gizelle's funeral. Today's the day when she'll rest forever in peace. Kahit hindi pa ako handa, kahit hindi pa kami handang pakawalan siya, kailangan namin. Kasi hindi habang buhay hihinga ang isang tao. Kapag dumating na yung oras nila, wala na tayong magagawa. That's why we need to let go. It may be hard, but we all know it's worth it at the end.

Nakatayo kaming apat sa harap ng nilibingan ni Gizelle. Everyone was crying. Mama, papa, ate, kuya Jason, Shaira and I. Kahit yung mga katulong nila Sean sa bahay nila, umiiyak din. Mahirap pala noh? Mahirap pala mawalang ng minamahal. Pero alam kong gusto ni Gizelle na maging masaya kami kahit wala na siya.

Unang nagpaalam sila mama at papa kasi nga may meeting pa sila mamayang 4 pm. Kahit ayaw ko, I felt hatred towards my parents. The entire time Gizelle was alive, wala silang ibang ginawa kung hindi iparamdam kay Gizelle na she's just a girl who was made to be married to someone. They made her feel unwanted, unloved, and all these bad things. Pero kahit kailan, hindi nagreklamo si Gizelle. That's how loving and selfless she is.

"Rick, mauna na kami ng kuya mo," paalam ni ate samin. "May rounds pa kasi kaming gagawin sa ospital eh."

"Sige po, ate, kuya," sabi ko sa kanila. Niyakap ko si ate tsaka si kuya. Naiwan kami ni Shaira dito sa puntod ni Gizelle.

"Baby, sagutin ko muna yung tawag ni mama ha? Kanina pa kasi siya tumatawag," sabi ni Shaira sakin.

Tumango lang ako tapos niyakap niya ako bago niya sinagot yung tawag ni tita. Naupo ako sa bermuda grass, yakap-yakap yung tuhod ko, habang nakatingin sa pangalan ni Gizelle sa lapida. I was staring into space when I saw someone from a far. At first glance, I thought my mind was playing tricks with me. The person looks like Gizelle. Her body shape, her height, her hair length, everything. Tumayo ako para lumapit. Habang palapit ako ng palapit, it really looked like her. Gizelle huwag mo naman ako multuhin. Alam mo naman na matakutin ako, diba? And besides, the sun is still up. Nung sobrang lapit ko na sa kanya, tumama yung tingin namin pero hindi ko maklaro yung mukha niya kasi nakasoot siya ng sunglasses at hat.

"Myrick!" narinig kong tawag ni Shaira sakin. Lumingon ako sa kanya and she was running towards me. Tumingin ako ulit sa kung saan nakatayo yung babae pero nawala na siya. "Sino ba kasi tinitingnan mo?"

"W-wala, baby. May nakita lang kasi akong medyo may hawig kay Gizelle," sabi ko sa kanya. "Baka namamalik mata lang ako."

"Akala ko kasi ano," aniya niya. "Sige na, let's go home. I know pagod ka."

Tumango lang ako at hinawakan yung kamay niya. Naglakad na kami papunta sa sasakyan pero nililingon ko pa rin yung lugar kung saan ko nakita yung babae. It really looked like Gizelle. Hindi naman ako pwede magkamali kasi kabisadong-kabisado ko na yung body shape ni bunso. Kahit nakatalikod, makikilala ko siya. Patay ka na ba talaga, Gizelle? Or are you just faking it?

Gizelle's POV

It was my "burial" today. Ililibing na nila si Gizelle. At habang buhay na siya mawawala sa buhay nila. I saw my family crying and I can't help but cry, too. Nasasaktan akong makita silang ganito. Although I hate to see them like this, this is for the best.

Nandito ako nakatayo sa may puno, medyo malapit sa kung saan yung puntod ko. I was wearing my Gucci sunglasses and my hat. Ayaw ko kasing makilala nila ako. Nakita kong naunang umalis sila mama at papa. Baka may business meeting yun. Sumunod naman si ate tsaka si kuya Jason. I really miss them. Sana magpropose na si kuya soon. I want them to live happily ever after.

I saw kuya sit on the grass, habang niyayakap yung mga tuhod niya. I never saw kuya this emotional before. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang umiyak ng ganitong kalala. Even nung rineject siya ni ate Shaira when he asked her for the first time to be his girlfriend, hindi siya umiyak kahit nakita ko yung sakit sa mga mata niya. I think this is how much he loved me.

I was wiping my tears when I noticed na nakatayo na pala si kuya, and worse, he was looking at my direction. Nagsimula na siyang maglakad papunta sakin. And instead of walking away, my feet froze. It felt like something was avoiding me from walking away. Sobrang lapit na ni kuya and I was starting to panic. Hindi niya ako pwedeng mabuking. Masisira lahat ng plano ko.

"Myrick!" tawag ni ate Shaira sa kanya. Lumingon si kuya kay ate Shai and that's when I ran.

Buti na lang dumating agad si ate Shai kung hindi ay mabubuking na talaga ako. Agad akong sumakay sa sasakyan ko, hinahabol yung paghinga ko. I took a deep breath at saka naglean sa back rest ng upuan ko.

"I'm so sorry, guys," sabi ko sa hangin. "Pero, Gizelle's gone."

Pinaandar ko yung sasakyan, huminga ng malalim at saka nagdrive papunta sa hotel na tinutuluyan ko. Tinawagan ko yung parlor kung saan ako nagpa-schedule ng home service. They notified me na nandun na pala yung stylist sa hotel, at hinihintay na lang ako. Pinasalamatan ko yung kausap ko bago binaba yung tawag. Goodbye, Gizelle Marie Alcante. Hinding hindi na kita babalikan pa.

~

"All done, madam," sabi ng baklang nag-ayos sakin. Tumingin ako sa salamin and saw a different me.

My hair was now shoulder length, na may full bangs, at saka kinulayan niya ng red. Hindi ko nakilala yung sarili ko when I first saw this look. Tumayo ako at umikot sa harap ng full length mirror.

"What do you think, madam? Job well done ba?" tanong niya sakin.

"Yes, it is. Salamat dito, girl," sabi ko sa kanya at bineso.

Binayaran ko na siya para makauwi na siya sa kanila. Birthday daw kasi ng mama niya and he was planning to give her a grand celebration. Kaya dinagdagan ko na lang ng kaunti as tip ko para sa kanya. I was now packing my bags kasi mamayang 12 pm yung flight ko for Manila. It was still 7 pm pero kailangan kasi nandun na ako 2 hours before my flight. I decided to eat dinner sa airport na lang to save time.

When everything was settled, tumawag ako ng room service para makuha nila yung mga bagahe ko. While waiting, I was looking at the scenery of Cebu. This was where I was born, raised, got married, and died. Too bad I need to leave this beautiful city just because I was sad. Tumunog yung doorbell, kaya binuksan ko yung pintuan at tinulungan na ako ng mga hotel staff. Nung nakarating kami sa information desk, binayaran ko na yung due ko at nagpatawag ng Grab. When it arrived, agad akong sumakay kasi yung mga hotel staff na daw ang bahala sa paglagay ng mga bagahe ko sa car trunk.

"Good evening po," bati ni driver sakin. "Kayo po ba si Ms. Michelle?"

"Yes, kuya. Ako nga po," sagot ko sa kanya. Tumango siya sakin at saka nagsimula ng magdrive.

Nakatingin ako sa bintana kasi this will be the last time I'll be seeing this place. Starting tomorrow, I'll be living a new life, and a new me. Good bye Cebu, good bye Alcante family, good bye Sean, good bye Gizelle. And hello Michelle Jane Alcano.

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- Ikish 🦄