Shattering Love

Chapter 14: Cameron's Secret

Cameron's P.O.V:
"Babe I need a towel!" I yell from the bathroom. I'd walk to the laundry room to get one but Nash was currently here at our apartment.

"Here babe." says I high pitched voice. I open the door expecting to see Shawn and instead I see Nash laughing at me now.

"Fuck off." I say grabbing the towel and shutting the door back.

"It's not like I've never seen you naked Cameron." Nash says laughing and walking away. I dry off and continue out into our bedroom. Then I get dressed and head into the living room.

"Shawn, Nash saw me naked." Shawn puts his coffee mug down.

"Nash?!" he says loudly.

"Sorry Shawn it was just a joke." he says laughing.

"What are you guys doing today?" Shawn asks me.

"Well Nash and I have some errands to run, nothing important." Shawn looks at me with a stern face.

"Are you sure that's it?" he questions.

"Yes Shawn. Do you not believe me?"

"No I believe you Cameron." he walks over giving me a hug. This makes the guilt I'm feeling grow 3 times it's size.

"So I'll see you tonight right?"

"Yes. We have no idea how long the meeting will take so I could be back by 6 or by midnight."

"Ok babe, I love you."

"Love you too." I peck his lips with mine and he walks out the door. I lean back against the door after I shut it.

"Dude, you just hard core lied to him."

"Shut up Nash. I already feel bad enough about it."

"When are you gonna tell him? I hate when you two keep secrets from each other but then tell me."

"So you want me to stop telling you things?"

"No Cameron it just puts me in an awkward position sometimes. I would never lie to either one of you and when y'all ask me questions it just gets messy for me."

"I understand Nash. It's just weird cause you're the first person both me and Shawn come to for advice."

"I know. But have you decided when you're going to tell him about the acting job?"

"I'm only going to tell him if I get it." I get a cup from out of the cabinet. "Which I won't."

"I don't know Cameron. You did pretty good. I still can't believe they actually let me go back and watch with you."

"I know."

"But wait seriously if you get the job what are you going to tell Shawn? Hey Shawn come on we're moving to New Zealand for a couple months so I can film a movie?"

"That's kinda the plan I guess. I don't really know yet."

"I still don't understand why you didn't just tell him."

"It's because it was 2 weeks before our wedding and I didn't want to have to think about anything other than our wedding, other than us. I know he's not going to want to move to New Zealand. I don't even know if I do yet."

"Well you better be ok with it if you get the job."

"Well of course I will be if I get the job Nash. And he will too."

"What are you gonna do if he tells you he doesn't wanna go with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if Shawn says he doesn't wanna go to New Zealand with you. What if he wants to stay here?" I think about this for a moment. I've never considered this possibility.

"That wouldn't happen Nash." I say. I pour some coffee into the mug I got out.

"But let's just say it does? Would you still go?"

"I mean I think I would go. I mean like it's been my dream to act for a long time and I think he would respect that and come with me. It'd be like if he was going on tour. Of course I would go with him; I wouldn't just let him tour alone. That's his dream; to make and sing music. We love each other enough to follow each other's aspirations."

"Ok Cameron, I'm just saying maybe you should tell him now. It seems better in the long run."

"Nash I'm to worried to tell him." I say looking away. I didn't want to admit it but if I tell Shawn I tried out for this role and then I don't get it then I would feel pretty damn embarrassed. He's pursued his music career and is so successful.

"Why are you worried?"

"Cause what if I told him and then I don't get it. You know how embarrassing that would be? He's followed his dreams and has done so freaking good and what if I never do as good as him."

"So you're not worried, your scared and embarrassed?"

"Yes Nash, I'm scared and embarrassed."

"Cameron why? You know Shawn loves you regardless of how you're doing."

"I know, I just like to impress him. I feel like a failure when I don't impress him."

"Cameron I don't think you have to impress him anymore. You guys are married! He's yours and your his no matter what now! Nothing will ever change that."

"I know, I just really love Shawn and I like impressing him."

"My advice Cameron, is to just talk to him about it. I think it's in your best interest. Whenever you guys keep secrets from each other it always results in a fight of some sort. And you've lied to him!"

"I hate lying to him Nash! It's so hard to do, I just I don't wanna tell him yet."

"Well at least think about it ok?"

"Fine. I'll think about it." Truth be told I was most likely not going to think about.

"Well let's go. You got called back today for a reason."

"I'm not gonna get the job today Nash. They call back like 5-10 people and we all try out further. Then in a week or two they call back like 3 people and they decide from there. So I'm not even gonna know for like another month."

"Well they must have liked you if you're getting called back." Nash was standing up grabbing his jacket now. It was slightly cloudy today and was supposed to storm throughout the day.

"Well we'll see who my competition is when we get there."

"Well then lets go." he walks to the door opening it. I follow and shut the door behind me. This whole thing was going to play out ok. Shawn will understand when I tell him the truth. Won't he?