Shattering Love

Chapter 48: Nevada's Baby

Cameron's P.O.V.
Shawn's tummy rises and falls as I lay here watching him sleep. I slowly rub my thumb around in circles on the top of his hand. Last night was our last night in this apartment. After I wake him up we're moving the last of our boxes, and bed, to the house. Shawn is extremely excited, ready to face the challenge of this big next step. I still can't believe in 3 months we are going to be parents. Sierra is already 6 months pregnant and is really starting to show. It's crazy how Shawn and I's time together has gone by so fast. 3 months has passed since we first found our house, which was literally how long we were apart when I was filming and he was on tour. The only difference is those three months felt like three years. These three months have felt like three weeks. Shawn is still very worried about Nevada's baby. I'm worried too, but won't show it. What if that baby is his? Am I going to love it? What if I don't? Thinking about it always gets me frustrated. I always seem to comfort myself by simply thinking one thing: if that baby is Shawn's then I am absolutely, positively, going to love it. How could I not love something made by Shawn? That child will literally be apart of him, and if I love him, then I'm going to love that baby. It honestly doesn't matter if the mother is Nevada. I could never give Shawn a baby like she could; and he could never give me a baby like another woman could. Shawn and I will never be able to have a baby that is genetically both of ours and it really just sucks. I move my hand to my face, drying my tears. When you love someone as much as I love Shawn, you want to do more with that love then just feel it; you want to make something of it. I wish more than anything in this world that Shawn and I could have a baby. I can't even decide if I want our baby to be genetically his or mine. If it's his, am I not gonna feel as close of a connection as I would if it were mine? I mean I've always wanted to have a child. On the other hand if it is mine will Shawn feel the same way I'd feel if it was his? I finish drying my tears and feel Shawn shift in bed. "Why are you crying baby?" he asks sleepily.

"I'm not. Just go back to sleep." I lie, rubbing his side. He rolls over so his chest is laying against mine. His nipple tickling my chest.

"What wrong baby?" he asks, eyes open and worried.

"I was just thinking about our baby." I say truthfully.

"What about it?" he asks, grabbing a hold of my hand.

"About who I want it to biologically be related to." He frowns his face at my answer.

"Why's it matter?" he asks.

"I don't know. I just think it might."

"It won't." he says matter o' factly. "That baby will be ours regardless of it's genetically mine or yours." I smile at him. "Do you want it to be yours?" he asks curiously.

"I think so." I answer truthfully. "I don't really know. I want it to be ours."

"It will be ours." he says, me sensing a bit of irritation in his voice. "I think you're being a little selfish."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Well Cameron I actually hope the baby is yours; that way I have even more of you to love than just yourself." How does he always make my heart melt?

"Shawny." I say cutely. "That's so sweet."

"Well it's the truth." I pull him closer to me; his very small chest hairs tickling me.

"Well now I hope the baby's yours." I say smiling. I think he can sense that's not the only thing I was thinking about.

"Were you thinking about Nevada's baby?" he asks sadly. I don't respond. "Look at me. We have two months until we find out if that baby is mine.-" He goes to keep talking but one of our phone starts ringing.

"Who's calling at," I grab my phone looking at the time, "5:42 in the morning." Shawn reaches over grabbing his phone. "Put it on speaker." I say. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone on speaker.

"Hello?" he asks.

"Hello? Is this Shawn?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"Shawn this is Derrick. Nevada is going into labor. I think you and Cameron need to fly out here."

"Are you serious?!" Shawn screams. "The baby isn't due for two more months."

"I know Shawn. That's why you need to get out here as soon as possible. The doctors say the baby might not make it because it may be premature." Shawn covers his mouth in shock.

"We're leaving right now." he says seriously.

"I'll see you in a few hours." The phone call ends. He just looks at me silently. I guess we're not gonna find out in two months; we're gonna find out if that baby is Shawn's within the next few days.

*****

"Are you sure you want to be in there?" I ask Shawn.

"Cameron if that baby is mine, then I am going to see it be born." He grabs ahold of my hand. "I was hoping you would too." I smile at him.

"Of course I will. Only if Nevada is ok with it." I'm being nicer towards Nevada right now because she's about to give birth and could lose the baby. Shawn walks into the room, me following attached by our hands.

"Hi Nevada." Shawn says as we walk in.

"Ahhhh." Nevada let's out a very large groan. Drops of sweat trickle her face, a look of worry and pain also evident. "Shawn." she says, smiling painfully.

"I'm here." he says smiling. Derrick is on the other side of her, holding her hand.

"The doctor is getting ready to come in and deliver the baby right now." Derrick says.

"You don't mind if I'm here do you Nevada? I mean if it is my baby, I'd like to see em be born." he says sweetly. Derrick looks up at him with a semi-dirty look. I don't say anything to him.

"I don't care." she yells. "We need to get this thing out of me!" she yells louder. Shawn walks over holding her hand. Both of her hands are now being held by the possible fathers of her child. As soon as Shawn's hand grabs her, her worried face reduces a little. She looks at it and smiles up at him.

"Who's ready to have a baby?" the doctor asks smiling, walking into the room. I back up as Shawn focuses on Nevada. One of his hands is intertwined with hers, the other resting against the bed frame.

"You can do this Nevada." he says reassuringly.

"Come on baby. You got this." Derrick says.

I turn my back, turning around every once and a while, catching a few glimpses of what was happening. Nevada's screams fill the room. After about 10 minutes I turn around to see a small, beautiful, precious child in the doctors arms.

"She's not breathing." he yells. The nurses rush over taking the baby from him. He turns around to help them. I grab ahold of Shawn's arm, as a look of true terror fills his face. If this is his baby, he's about to lose her.

"Let me see my baby." Nevada is crying. "Let me see her." Her hands are outstretched towards the huddle of nurses and doctors. The seconds tick by with no crying coming from the other side of the room. My heart beat races as I begin to feel empathy for Nevada, Derrick, and Shawn. 7 months she carried this beautiful baby girl and now she's about to die, right before their eyes. I grab ahold of Shawn's hand, as I sense the pain he's feeling. More seconds tick by and still no sounds come from the baby. I can't believe they've actually lost her. I cover my mouth in sadness. I feel my heart drop in my chest. A few more seconds tick by and a small child's cry fills the room. Oh my god. I move my hand to my heart, the feeling of reassurance taking over my body. It's racing a million miles an hour. This precious baby girl actually made it. She actually made it.