Shattering Love

Chapter 19: The Truth

Cameron's P.O.V.
I open my eyes with Shawn in my arms. He's slightly snoring and I love it. What am I gonna tell Mrs. Anderson? My whole career is going to be in ruins. No ones ever gonna wanna hire me. I promised her I'd do the movie and now I'm going to just back out? Ugh. I look at Shawn sleeping. He is more important to me than acting. He's more important to me than anything in this world. I always sleep on the left side of the bed and Shawn always sleeps on the right. I guess most couples do that, I don't really know. I look down at the scar on the left side of my lower torso. I move my left hand to it, running my fingers over it. This scar rarely ever hurt but sometimes it did. It feels so strange to touch. I used to think it was so ugly; I still partially do. Shawn has told me that he think it makes me look more masculine or whatever. I lean down kissing the top of Shawn's head and slowly slide away, leaving him alone in the bed. I grab my grey and black robe, sliding it on for it was a little cool in our apartment this morning. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the lights. I pull out a hand mirror and position it so I can see the top back left side of my head. My hair grew back completely a month or two after my surgery. However, there still remained the scar on the back of my head where no hair would ever grow back. I look at it in the mirror, moving my fingers slowly across it. This scar used to give me horrible migraines but they've mostly stopped. I have some every once in a while but I have medicine prescribed that usually helps the pain. As I'm looking at the scar flashbacks of the hospital come to me. Waking up after the car accident; trying so hard to find Shawn; those 5 or 6 days where I didn't know if he was going to live or not. All these feelings and memories made tears grow in my eyes and they slowly poured down my face. How could I even think about leaving him to go on tour. As sad as it is I'm just gonna have to give up my acting dream. Who cares if I never get another chance to pursue my dreams. At least I'll have my Shawny. I look at the scar one last time then bend down, putting the mirror away in its drawer. I stand up just looking down at the sink. I feel arms start to wrap around my chest from behind. I look up in the mirror to see a cute looking Shawn pulling me close. His eyes were closed and his face bore a tired, loving, serious tone. He was wearing his long blue robe that I had bought him a couple months ago. "Are you ok baby?" He asks. I guess he'd seen me crying.

"No I'm fine." I say smiling. I run my hand across his arm.

"Tell me what's wrong Cameron. I can tell something is seriously bothering you." Through the mirror I can see his face. He looks so sad and concerned for me. It makes my heart melt that he cares so much for me.

"I was just thinking about something...." I say.

"What about?" he says softly. He looked so caring and loving right now. Maybe I should just tell him about the role. It does feel so weird keeping this secret.

"I was thinking about when we were both in the hospital, about 3 months ago." I say turning around in his arms. He pulls me into a hug, and I rest my head in between his head and neck. It was strange but cute when Shawn comforted me like this, because usually I'm the one who holds him in my arms and makes sure he feels ok. I'm glad to know that he can do the same for me.

"What about the hospital?" he asked, not necessarily whispering in my ear, but not talking loudly.

"I was just thinking about how I almost lost you. And I just love you so much Shawn. You are so amazing and it just scares me that I was thinking about being apart from you again." I know. Here it goes. I'm also crying now.

"What to you mean you were thinking about being apart from me? I'm never gonna leave you Cammy." he says trying to reassure me. I clear my throat.

"I know Shawn. I know. I..... I was the one thinking about leaving you." I hold him tighter to me. However, he pulls me up away from him so that he can look me in the eyes.