Shattering Love

Chapter 39: Pretty Low

Nash's P.O.V.
Ever since Cameron came home I've taken nonstop care of him. What Shawn did to him was horrible. How can you honestly cheat on someone when you love them that much? Thus far I've refused to talk to Shawn but I'm going to his apartment to surprise him today. Him and Cameron have been broke up for almost two weeks now. I'm beginning to truly worry about Cameron. He is nonstop drinking from the time he wakes up till the time he goes to sleep. He's also started vaping and I think it's just as nasty as smoking. I make him stand outside when he vapes, and he usually will willing agree. At first I thought that Shawn was truly bad for Cameron, that he just made his life worse. But this past week he's really went down hill. I miss how happy Cameron used to be. I also miss talking to Shawn. I'm hoping that if I can talk to Shawn today that it can be the beginning of our friendship building back. I step out of my car and walk to Shawn's door. I knock a few times and am greeted with no answer. I "borrowed" Cameron's key in case Shawn didn't answer. I walk into Shawn's apartment. What the hell is this smell? "Shawn!?" I yell out. No response. Why is there garbage and dirty clothes all over the place? This place looks horrible. Shawn must have really let go of himself since the brake up. Looks like they both have. The closed curtains make the room seem so dark. Shawn is passed out on the couch. I shake him a little. "Shawn wake up." I shake him more. I see a brown bag with a bottle inside laying in his hands. Damn. I guess him and Cameron both turn to alcohol when they're having issues. "Shawn!" I yell, finally getting him to wake up.

"Wh-what?!" he says. He slowly blinks open his eyes and just looks at me. "What are you doing here?" I notice that his eyes are bloodshot.

"I came to check on you." Shawn just looks around the apartment. I can't tell if he's embarrassed or doesn't care.

"I'm fine. Can you just leave me alone?" he says, rolling over on the couch. He's facing the cushions. I sit down, putting my hand on his back.

"Are you ok Shawn?" I ask.

"Can you just please go?" he says crying. He's literally bawling into the couch.

"Oh my God Shawn. Talk to my buddy." I can feel my mouth turn into a sad face as I look at Shawn crying on the couch.

"I don't wanna talk Nash. I just wanna lay here and die." I think my heart just broke.

"Is this all about Cameron?" I ask.

"I just miss him so much." he says crying. "I love him more than anything in this world." I just rub his back.

"Shawn I underst-"

"No actually you don't understand!" he yells through his tears, interrupting me. "You've never fallen in love with someone, then have them want nothing to do with you."

"Well Shawn not to sound rude but you kind of brought this on yourself." He rolls me off the couch, standing up.

"How dare you say that to me." he says pointing his finger at me. "I didn't even cheat on Cameron." he yells. His eyes widen and he covers his mouth.

"What do you mean you didn't cheat on him?" He let's out a large groan. "Shawn what the hell do you mean you didn't cheat on him?" He turns around. He rubs his hands through his hair. "Well?" I say. He turns back around.

"Look. The night I found out my dad had a heart attack-"

"Your dad had a heart attack?" I exclaim. He starts crying again.

"One night my mother called telling me that my father had a heart attack and was in the hospital. It was really hard for me to deal with and so I called Cameron a few times and he didn't answer. Nevada was at my hotel and I explained everything to her. She was there for me. Then she left and I was all alone and I was already dealing with the stress of being away from Cameron. Then she came back with some alcohol. We drank to get my mind off of everything and we had a lot of fun. I guess we played truth or dare, I drunk kissed her once or twice but that was it." I stand there just looking at him.

"So why'd you tell Cameron you cheated then?" He groans again.

"I guess through the truth or dare came I stripped naked and fell asleep in the bed on the couch. Nevada fell asleep beside me and when I woke up in the morning I just assumed we had fooled around."

"So you're telling me you never actually cheated on Cameron?"

"I mean I drunk kissed Nevada a few times but that was it. And I don't even remember them." He walks to the kitchen.

"Shawn then what are you doing here?! Why have you not told Cameron this yet?" He gets a bottle of water from the fridge, opens it, and takes a sip.

"Because he doesn't love me anymore Nash. He thinks it would be better if I wasn't in his life."

"Are you kidding me?!" I yell. I'm so surprised right now. "Cameron freaking loves you Shawn! He's been a horrible mess since you two broke up. He's always drinking, and he's got this nasty habit of vaping now." I make a disgusted look.

"He vapes?" Shawn asks surprised.

"Yes Shawn. Ever since you two have been apart he's been a wreck. You two are literally nothing without each other."

"He's better off without me Nash." he says walking towards the bedroom.

"You won't even talk to him?" I ask. These two are really starting to confuse me. They both love each other so much. I don't see why they can't just talk out their problems. They always have before.

"He doesn't wanna talk to me Nash. Don't you understand? He doesn't want me in his life."

"Yes he does Shawn. Would you please just talk to him?" Shawn leans against the bedroom door for a few seconds. His eyes are closed and he's clearly thinking deeply. Come on Shawn. Just agree.

"If he is ok with us talking then I guess I will."

"You can't guess Shawn. It's either a yes or no." He just looks at me.

"Yes Nash. I'll talk to him if he wants to." Shawn closed the bedroom door behind him. I hear him crying again.

"I love you Shawn." I say through the door. "You'll always be my best friend." I wait a few seconds. The door opens back up and he runs into me, wrapping his arms around my body. He just cries into my shoulder and I rub his back. "You're gonna get your Cameron back Shawn. I promise." He laughs, trying to dry his tears.

"You really think so Nash?"

"I know so." I grab his hand and give him a high five. "I'm gonna go. I'll call you as soon as I figure everything out." I turn around and start walking to the door.

"Hey Nash." he screams. I turn around. "I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for trying so hard for me and Cameron. It really means a lot to me." I smile at him.

"Thank you Shawn. I'll call you tonight." I walk out of his apartment, closing the door behind me.