Secret Desire

Chapter Fourteen- "I Know What You're Doing."

Chapter Fourteen

"I Know What You're Doing.'

 Bella’s Point Of View-

           You know what scares me? That fact that one single person can hold complete control over you and you don’t even realize it until they leave you. You don’t realize how much they make you happy and you don’t realize how much they’ve impacted your life until you’re left alone to think about it after the damage has already been done.

            I was currently sitting inside of my car in the school parking lot dreading to go in there. I’ve had the weekend to think about what happened between Justin and I but I still didn’t think I was wrong. I could see his side of it I guess but the bottom line is that if I wanted to have sex with him then what was the big deal? I’m his girlfriend so I don’t see why it would be wrong if we did.

            I get that he wanted to make it special so I decided that I was going to drop the sex thing as hard as it would be. I’m a really stubborn person and I normally do things without thinking - thus explaining Friday night- and I end up regretting it.

            Heading towards the front door of the hellhole, I couldn’t help but feel like the weather was explaining my current mood. The sky was a gloomy grey, making me even more tired than I needed to be. I didn’t get the best of sleep knowing Justin and I were in an argument so that probably explains it.

            Slimming out my skinny jeans, I slung my backpack over the shoulder of my plaid button down shirt and hurriedly walked to my locker. I wasn’t exactly sure if Justin would meet me there but I was kind of hoping he would because I wanted to apologize for the way I acted.

            Sure enough, I turned down the hallway to see his head immediately turn in my direction. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with a YMCMB hoody. Like I said before, his style wasn’t exactly like everyone else’s but I had no complaints about it because he always looked sexy.

            “Hi.” I breathed heavily and paused in front of my locker to see his reaction.

            “Uh, hey…” He trailed off.

            It looked like he had something more to say so I nodded my head for him to continue. He looked nervous for whatever reason and I didn’t exactly know why.

            “Look this thing between us… I don’t think it’s gonna work out.”

             I stopped turning the dial on my locker and it felt like my heart stopped beating in my chest. What the hell is he talking about?

            “If this is because of the other night Justin I’m sorry.” I said quietly. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I get where you’re coming from now.”

            “It’s not that.” He shrugged as if this had no effect on him whatsoever. “I just have other things I need to be focused on right now. I shouldn’t have a girlfriend.”

            I’m not sure if it was the way he was acting so nonchalant about the whole situation or if it was what he just said that was irritating me more but I felt like my whole body was numb.

            “So that’s it then?” I laughed in disbelief. “We’re done now?”

            He tore his gaze from mine and looked back down the hallway before picking his backpack up from the floor.