Secret Desire

Chapter Twenty Seven- "You're Unbelievable."

Chapter Twenty Seven

"You're Unbelievable."

 

I am here for you if you’d only care

You touched my heart and you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I’ve been addicted-

 

            “Sweetie?”
            Two knocks on my door interrupted me from the song that was engulfing my head through my headphones. I haven’t moved the whole weekend. When I had the choice to go to my dad’s house I declined because I literally couldn’t feel my emotions anymore. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in my room staring at this ceiling and listening to this song by James Blunt on repeat.

            My mom entered in the room wearing only her bathrobe since it was six thirty in the morning on Monday. She was most likely coming in to ask me if I was going to go to school today but I’m almost positive she knew the answer. What shocked me the most is how I confided in her. I suppose it was because I didn’t have anyone else to talk to, but the morning after the breakup I told her everything. Well, not about the sneaking out part, or the whole taking my virginity part, but I tried to tell her as much as I could.

            My eyeliner was still all over my eyes from two nights ago because I haven’t even bothered to shower. What was the point in standing up when I felt like I was going to collapse without him? I haven’t been able to stop crying or stop thinking about what he said.

            “I never loved you anyways.”

            “I wanted to sleep with a virgin and now that I have, I’d never sleep with one again.”

            I don’t understand it. I don’t understand anything that happened last night because last time I checked, we were happy together. It was only until I spoke to Brett that he decided to kiss that girl Kristy or whatever the hell her name was. But after everything we’ve been through he’s going to do something like that? He’s going to make me feel like this? I will never ever forgive him and that’s something I’m certain of. But I can’t help and feel the pain.

            That’s what annoys me the most about break-ups. In the beginning, you guys are happier than ever and you’re so in love. Well, I guess not all of us are in love but at least some of us are and you don’t think things could get any better until suddenly you’re in this bed crying wondering when the hell things changed. It’s almost like you’re trying to think of where things started to go wrong and when that person suddenly decided to change their feelings towards you but you can’t put your finger on it. All you do is cry.

            Sitting down next to me on the comforter, my mom grabbed my hands and rubbed her fingertips around them gently.

            “Are you going to school today?”
            “No.” I replied almost immediately. “I can’t see his face mom. If I see his face I swear I will break down into another heap of sobs and I’ll be the talk of the school again like I always am.”