Secret Desire

Chapter Thirty Three- "Are You Kidding?"

Chapter Thirty Three

 "Are You Kidding?"

            Love is unexplainable. The only way I can try to put it into words is that it makes you utterly crazy and insane. It makes you crazy because before you met the person you’re in love with, all you cared about was yourself. Your life goals and aspirations surrounded your head and what you looked forward to was the future. Now that you have the person you’re in love with now all you care about is them. The previous stage you had of being too focused on yourself completely changes and all you want is the best for your partner. You want them to succeed and have the best in life. The goals and aspirations of school and college are fading to marriage and a family. You think about your wedding with them instead of what you’ll be when you grow up and that’s petrifying. The fact that somebody can make you feel so many emotions at once and make you a new person is incredible though as well. You are changing into a new person but in a good way, the layers of the person you used to be are shedding off and making room for new layers to form. It’s so beautiful in my eyes and as I continue to kiss Justin I know for a fact that I’m ready to take on these new layers. I’m ready to be a new person.

            “I love you…” He whispered and started to take off his jacket as we walked backwards in the grass.

            We were slowly trying to make our way over towards the clearing but it’s been taking forever because we couldn’t stop kissing. I wasn’t complaining whatsoever because all I wanted was him right now.

            “I love you too.” I replied breathlessly.

            Pushing him down onto the grass, I stripped myself of my shirt and felt the cool breeze hit my skin. It seemed to be a little bit too cold outside to be doing this but it’s always been a place that I’ve wanted to do it at and I couldn’t wait to experience it.

            “Bella you make me so happy.” He said as he helped unclasp my bra. “I couldn’t picture someone better for me.”

            I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks flush at his words and tried to hide how much one sentence affected me. He was right when he said he couldn’t picture someone better for him though because that’s exactly how I felt. Even though we’ve had our ups and downs, he will always remain the person I will ever want to be with and there’s nothing that could change that.

            “God, you’re so beautiful.” He groaned and bent down so he could take each breast in his mouth and swirl his tongue around them. “Let me know how you want it Bella. I’ll do whatever you want.”

            My legs instantly grew weak from the contact and the fire ignited inside of my body when his lips started to slowly move down my neck, each kiss getting sloppier and wetter the further he moved down.

            “Justin please…” I moaned and grabbed a fistful of his hair, making him look up at me and rest his head on top of my chest.

            “I haven’t heard an answer Bella. Fast or slow?”

            I don’t know which one I wanted. When he was rough the pleasure was out of this world but when we went slow I know I would feel that emotional connection with him that my body craved. I wanted to feel his love for me and I wanted to feel attached.

            “Both.” I giggled. I couldn’t choose between the two so hopefully he will oblige and give me a mixture.

            I didn’t hear him speak another word. He left gentle kisses down my stomach, stopping to swirl his tongue around my belly button in a circle. The most erotic thing about all of this though was that his gaze never left mine. I could see his eyes stare at me with lust as his lips parted and came in contact with my skin over and over again. I was hardly able to look at him right now.