Secret Desire

Chapter Thirty Five- "Not Exactly."

 

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Chapter Thirty Five

"Not Exactly."

            “Sweetheart, wake up.”

            I heard Justin’s voice enter into my ear and I couldn’t focus on anything except the nickname sweetheart. The way it rolled off of his tongue in such a provocative yet sweet way made my stomach churn in desire for him. My eyes slowly opened to see Justin hovering over me, one hand running through my hair and the other rubbing my arm to wake me up.

            “Hi.” I giggled sleepily.         

            I then noticed that it was pitch black in the room and outside. My eyes wandered over to the nightstand and quickly noticed that it was only three in the morning. Why was he waking me up?

            “I love you baby.” He whispered and brought his lips closer to mine. “I needed to tell you that.”

            What the hell has gotten into him? This person that’s talking to me right now is so unlike the one I first met that day after school. He wasn’t cold and he wasn’t bitter, instead it was like he was finally opening himself up to me. I’ve never felt happier than I have right in this moment.

            “Why are you being like this?” I smiled and played with the ends of his hair. “Not that I’m complaining, but why now? Why so early?”

            “Because I’ve been thinking about what you said before we had sex earlier. About you finally feeling the same. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you Bella and now that I’ve got you finally, all of you, I’m never letting you go. I told you I was going to treat you like you deserve to be treated and hopefully I’m accomplishing that.”

            Justin never failed to leave me utterly speechless. Every word he said was so powerful and so meaningful. It kills me to know that he’s been fighting for me for so long but I know that after what he did I deserved it.

            “Babe…” I said, unable to find the words to speak. I brought my hand up to touch the side of his face, making him close his eyes and lean against it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so vulnerable in my entire life.

            “I’m just so in love with you Bella, okay? I just don’t know how to express it enough. I’m so attached to you and I’m terrified if I can be honest. I’m terrified because I have never in my life felt this way before. I’m probably sounding so addicted and clingy but god I’ve been up all night thinking about you and I. I’m so sorry for waking you up but I wanted to talk to you about this.”

            Immediately sliding over in bed, I pulled him in with me and hugged him close to my chest. I never wanted him to leave me. I wanted to just stay in this bed forever and hug him as much as I could.

            “I’m not mad at you for waking me up.” I giggled and kissed his chest. “You don’t sound clingy. You sound like the boy I’ve wanted this whole relationship. But I just want you to know Justin that you don’t need to change for me and try to be this perfect person. The boy I fell in love with in that hallway is still the boy I’m in love with today. Don’t be someone you don’t want to be babe.”