Secret Desire

Chapter Twenty Four- "Kiss Me."

Chapter Twenty Four

"Kiss Me."

Bella’s Point Of View

             Was I being stupid? Was I being completely irrational for forgiving him and taking him back? One side of my brain is saying that it was a huge mistake and the other side is saying that I couldn’t live life without him. I couldn’t live it complete or happily if I didn’t see his stupid grin that he got, his lip turned up just at the right side to try and give me that bad boy impersonation. It may be the wrong decision, but my heart is certainly accelerating at the sound of the pebbles against my window right now.

             Quickly unlocking it, I scurried back into bed and waited to see that familiar cheesy grin on his face, which I did not even five seconds later. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants along with a pullover hoody and I couldn’t see his sneakers because he tossed them to the side before he crawled into bed with me.

            “Hi.” He smirked and pressed his lips against mine, my stomach feeling like it crumbled to pieces just at the contact. All I want to do was just have him spend the night with me. I want us to wake up to each other in the morning and see what each other looks like. I want to see his expression change when he sleeps or his breathing patterns change. I want to see everything and learn every detail about him and I know some people may call it an obsession but it’s a feeling I can’t describe.

            “I love your smile.” I finally said. “It’s really cute.”
            “Cute?” His nose scrunched up, making the wrinkles on his forehead come out, and he let out a little laugh. “Pick another word. I don’t like that one.”

            “Fine. It’s hot.”

            Nodding his head in approval, he laid on top of me and didn’t kiss me no, but what he did was sit there and stare at me. His eyes moved all over my face from the top of my head to the bottom of my bra. I can’t help but at times feel self-conscious because a part of me was thinking he didn’t like what he saw but that definitely wasn’t the case.

            “Promise me you won’t leave again.” His voice whispered out the words in a rushed motion, making them spill out all together more than anything.

            “I promise.”

            “Bella I’m being serious, alright? Please. I know I put on this front and act like nothing can affect me and that nothing can hurt me. I probably was like that, but little did I know that in this shitty town of North Carolina I’d find the only thing worthwhile that I’ve ever had. Like I said that night at my house, I’m attached to you Bella and now I’m in love with you so please… please don’t leave.”

            After he said his speech he just stared and me and prayed that I would say what he wanted me to. His eyes were like a little kid’s at a store when they asked their parents for a new toy except, this was much more serious. It was like this was the only thing that meant something to him and I could feel that. I could feel his need for me and he was crazy if he thought I’d do that again.

            “I promise.” I replied and brought my hand up to stroke his cheek. “Justin I’m not leaving you because believe it or not, I feel the same way. Do you think it was easy leaving you on that beach? Because it wasn’t. I was just as broken as you were. When I went to school and didn’t see your face it made me want to fall apart. It made me want to literally rip my heart out of my chest every second that class period went by. You tend to think that you aren’t important to me but Justin that’s not it at all. I am so in love with you.”