Through The Pain (Completed)

30

Cry's pov
I woke up to find warm arms wrapped around me. I opened my eyes to be met with two light blue eyes looking back at me. Golden hair fell over the eyes slightly but only made the sight more enduring. A faint smile fell across my face.

"Morning beautiful," Felix whispered and I blushed. Beautiful?

"Morning Fe," I said, sleep still evident in my voice.

"You're so cute when you're tired," Felix said. He sounded more awake than me and has probably been up for a while.

"Beautiful? Cute? What is this?" I asked, the sleep starting to fade from my voice.

"The truth," he answered before kissing me gently. I smiled into the kiss as I returned it. When Felix pulled away I nearly whined, but didn't. I wanted him to stay close to me but he got out of the bed instead.

"I'm just gonna have a quick shower kay. I'll be right back to make breakfast in a minute," Felix said as he walked into the bathroom. A sudden rush of lonelyness washed over me and my arms began to itch. I rubbed them before climbing out of bed and heading to my room.

I opened my suit case and pulled out a long sleeve shirt. I removed my old one but froze at the white bandages that covered all the way up to my elbows. Memories of the night before flooded back to me. Felix. He, he saw. He figured it out. But... he didn't leave. He didn't yell or scream at me. He didn't get angry.

He helped me. He was gentle and caring. He, he wrapped them up so I couldn't see them. He made sure I was okay. And I told him I was... but I'm not. I'm broken and dieing inside and the cracks are showing on the outside now too. I was falling apart, faster than before.

The shower cut off and I quickly put the clean shirt on and rushed out to the lounge. I sat down and pulled me phone out (of thin air). I had left it on the coffee table before having my second nightmare. The one that shattered me. The memories all came back from that. All the memories I wanted to forget.

"Hey, didn't expect you to get out of the warm bed," Felix said as he walked into the kitchen. I shrugged.

"It felt cold without you with me," I said and he blushed.

"Aweee, did you miss me?" He cooed and it was my turn to blush.

"Maybe," I mumbled and he smiled. "Hey ah, I'm going to have a quick shower before breakfast. Don't walk in on me or you might see my dick," I joked as I stood up.

"Maybe I want to see your dick," Felix said with a smirk. I blushed more but had seen it coming.

"Well if you want you can but you have to show me yours first," I said with a grin. A smile crept on my face as I watched Felix stutter for a while before he just spun around and began making breakfast. I giggled and headed to the bathroom. I grabbed some spare clothes, besides a shirt since I had already changed it, and headed to the bathroom.

I closed the door and locked it behind me, just in case, and turned on the water. I let it run as I got undressed and unraveled the bandages on my arms. My breath hitched at the red lines that covered my arms. Some were fresh from fhe other day but scars showed as well. One in particular caught my eye. It was wide and streatched from my wrist to past my elbow. The memory behind it caused tears to come to my eyes.

~le flash back~

I stumbled into the kitchen, vision blurred from tears. But the object I wanted was clear to see. I reached for it, pulling it into my hanrd. The sharp silver glinted in the light.

I felt surprisingly calm holding the object. Normally I would be afraid but now I felt nothing. I held it to my arm, pressing the shinny tip against the edge of my wrist. No going back now.

I pushed it into my skin, a slight twinge of pain ran up my hand but was drowned by all my thoughts. I had to keep going.

I pushed it deeper, crimson spilling out over the edges of the silver blade and dripping down my arm. I needed more though.

I pulled the object towards me, more pain but my body wanted it. I wanted it. I needed it.

I pulled more as I pushed the silver in deeper, coating my arm in red liquid but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I just kept pulling the blade. It reached my elbow but I didnt stop.

I felt dizzy and my vision dimmed with red but I still didn't stop. The sound of a car pulled into the driveway out front and I suddenly flickered back to reality.

My hand shook and the line swirved. The blade fell from my hand and clattered on the ground. The room spun and I felt sick.

I heard the car door close as I fell to the ground. The world went dark but I could still faintly hear the door open but it was far away. So far away.

The last thing I heard was an angry... no, scared shout before I was surrounded by darkness...

~end of flashback~

I gasped as the memory ended. Tears were burning down my face and my heart was racing. I had no idea how long I had been standing there for but a knocking on the door did catch my attention so probably a while.

"Hey Cry, breakfast is ready," Felix shouted through the door. I shook away my shakiness and quickly jumped into the shower.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute," iI called back. I could hear his footsteps head away from the door and i sighed.

The hot water of the shower felt too burning so I turned it off and only put cold water on. The icey droplets calmed my body and cleared my mind a little. I felt slight releaf from my thoughts but I knew they'll come back.