i n s e c u r e

nineteen

"You okay?" Shownu look at Kihyun who was laying his head on the desk.

The weather wasnt that cold but yet, Kihyun wore a jacket which looks totally uncomfortable.

"Yeah....why?" The male answered without opening his eyes, it was evident that he felt really sleepy.

Of course he is.

He could not sleep at all last night.

"You look different" Shownu mumbled while fiddling with his fingers.

"Good or bad?"

"Just...different..."

"Like?"

"You usually have that very bright and positive vibe around you but you look down today"

"....its tiring....you know...to be happy..." Kihyun snuggle his head in his arms.

In all honesty, he was too tired to start a conversation but he doesnt want to make Shownu feel awkward.

"Relatable" Shownu laid down on the desk as well.

The both of them were seated near the basketball court where a game is currently ongoing.

Kihyun tilt his head slowly and fix his gaze on the male who slept next to him.

They hardly made eye contact but seeing Shownu close up like this made him realise that this guy is actually good looking. His looks are rather unique unlike normal Koreans.

Which made Kihyun think, how is he not popular with the ladies?

Shownu peek through his eyelids for a brief second and realise that the other was staring intently at him.

He wanted to avoid Kihyun's gaze but his eyes got stuck to them.

For some reasons, Kihyun's eyes looks captivating.

How can someone with these beautiful eyes be called ugly?

"Be careful...if you continue to stare at me like that, you might fall in love with me" Shownu joke as Kihyun smile softly.

"Ergh...Yea right" He answered as he got up slowly.

Kihyun massaged his nape while examining their school's rooftop from the ground floor. The place where Shownu nearly killed himself.

"Do you ever....feel....like doing it again?" He questioned the male beside him.

Shownu followed the direction of his eyes.

"Hmm..." He shrug his shoulders.

"Though I said that suicide is never the answer,.....if you ever feel....like doing it,...take me as well" He said as tears slowly fill his eyes.

Kihyun is really a guy full of secrets which made Shownu felt really attracted to him. Not the love kind. But he really felt that he continuously want to know more about the male. Kihyun made him feel curious.

Like what is really going on with his life?

"....dont" Shownu answered.

"...as long as you are still here with me...I'll make sure that you'll never want to kill yourself...because....you are the reason why Im still here...If you are not...then theres no reason for me to live...you told me that...along the way..I'll find a reason to live again...so here you go...you are my reason" Shownu knit his brows, knowing that this sound damn cheesy.

Kihyun was probably gonna laugh at him or made fun of him and Shownu was prepared for all that.

But he didnt.

Kihyun, instead stare at Shownu intently.

"You know...you are right....I might fall in love with you if I continue staring at you like this" Kihyun laugh half heartedly, not knowing that it made the other blush.

The both of them then stayed in silence as they admire the gloomy sky, indicating that it is gonna rain soon.