i n s e c u r e

AUTHORS NOTE

HEY GUYS!!! SO INSECURE HAS FINALLY ENDED IN ONE NIGHT!!!🙆😭😭👏👏👏👏 I finish writing them yesterday but I only posted it today😂

I know that the last chapter was probably not what you guys expected but really, I dont wish to prolong the story anymore😂

Furthermore, I cant seem to find how they are going end up being together with everyone constantly hating on them😔😔

This story was actually something I thought of back in 2015(?) When i was still 15 years old😂I never got the chance to write it until the end because I am constantly busy with school😒 I wrote a few chapters and then I delete them until this year when I decided that I really need to write this story.

Originally, this story was actually heterosexual and not homosexual.

The characters I had in mind was Zoira Hiro and Kim Mingyu. (so initially it was a seventeen ff)

But I wanted to try a BL one coz why not?

And ShowKi is a couple THAT NEEDS ATTENTION AS WELL😭🙆🙆

The characters, as in the background story of the characters, actually was based on me.

Yes, your authornim😂

Kihyun's character is me in real in life.

I was born in a family with 3 other siblings.

My father left me when I was three years old and my mother remarry after that.

Our family is really financially unstable which was why I had to work.

I am an introvert and I barely have friends. I actually have only one or two (which I found out this year, that I was being used) So technically, Im all alone.

I would often go to break with them but if they never come to school, I would just sit in the library or toilet because I find it awkward to eat alone.

People around me are constantly using me whenever they needed company so I dont regard many of them as my friends.

Looks wise, I AM fat 😂😂 and still fat after 2 years.

Its actually true when I said that im fat and ugly because thats what most of my classmates tell me.

Im constantly told by the people around me that im

fat

hideous

ugly

giant

hippopotamus

buffalo

So I grew up thinking that I am all of the above.

Do you know how Kihyun fell in love with Hyerin?

That was how I fell in love with my crush. The sad thing was that he constantly fat shamed me in public to the point where I really wanna kill myself so bad.

Funny how love can also be the most painful thing ever.

The thing about me is that I am really insecure because the people around me kept bringing me down so bad.

Remember Kijun and Kihyun?

Yes, my relatives would compare me with my sister and of course, all the praises go to her. I dont mind to be honest but there really isnt a need to compare.

But on a side note, in real life,im straight😂

(OUH DAMN 2020 UPDATE : I AM BISEXUAL AHAHAHHAHAHAHA IM LAUGHING AT MYSELF)

I wrote this story because its something that I personally experience for the past..idk...5-7 years?

It has reach to the point where I became suicidal. Once, I ever wanted to kill myself by jumping down from my apartment but I didnt.

I fought the urge to do so because, I dont wish to lose my family yet.

But ever so often, I really wished I would have jumped instead.

Up till today, I still encounter things that made me suicidal.

But thats life.

and it is very tough.

Life has its ups and downs because from all the bad things that happen to us, it will leave us with a very valuable lesson.

But no matter how tough life is, suicide is never the answer.

Which is why I told you guys, whenever you want someone to talk to, approach me❤ We may not know each other but theres always room to make friends right?🙆

Im not be able to solve your problems because Im not a therapist🙈🙈

but I hope, at the very least, it will hurt less if you talk to someone about it. Keeping things to yourself for too long can be really painful and bad for your mental heath.

To end off, I wanna say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ INSECURE!!!😭❤😭❤😭😭❤😭❤ ITS BEEN JOYFUL WRITING FOR YOU GUYS AND YOUR COMMENTS ALWAYS MADE MY DAY!!!

I HOPE THAT YALL HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY AND REMEMBER TO SMILE ALWAYS CAUSE YOUR SMILE IS THE GREATEST ASSET OF YOURS!!🙆🙆😚😚😚😚LOVE YA LOTS!!!😘😘😘😅

ps : if any of yall wanna follow my IG or twitter, feel free to do so❤

ig / telegram : @ rotaecanae
twitter : @ monochroem