i n s e c u r e

thirty

"Am I late?!" Kihyun asked when he arrived at the rooftop.

They had just finished lessons so definitely, Kihyun wasnt late.

"No actually" Shownu laughed as he ushered Kihyun to his seat.

The 'candlelight' dinner that Shownu made actually looks very cute.

Instead of having actual candlelight, he used two birthday candles and place it between their instant mac and cheese from the convenience store.

It was simple yet, the thought that counts.

"I guess you light up the candle a bit too early" Kihyun chuckle as he examine the lightless candle.

Shownu awkwardly scratch his nape as the both of them sat in front of one another.

Kihyun look at the food in awe.It has been awhile since he tried them.

"So...hows your first day of school?" Shownu asked as they started eating.

"Great to be honest...everyone was so friendly towards me"

"Really? What did they do?"

"Well...some people were passing compliments to me and a few girls bought me my favourite strawberry milk" He grin.

Shownu smile softly.

"It felt really good! Now...everyone starts noticing me" He blush,"OH! And Hyerin too!!"

He then went on talking about Hyerin, not realising that Shownu wasnt paying the slightest attention to what he was blabbering about.

"And she said that Im really nice" Kihyun covered his burning cheeks.

"Ah...thats awesome..." Shownu answered briefly.

"How about you? Hows your day?" Kihyun asked him back.

In reality, Shownu has lots of things to say. But after Kihyun kept talking about Hyerin, he lost interest in the conversation.

"Same old"

"Ah...I hope its gonna be better soon!"

"Hmm..."

"Oh! I brought you something!" Kihyun clapped his hands as he rummaged through his bagpack.

Shownu dispose all of their leftovers in a plastic bag and drank a bottle of water.

"Here!" Kihyun passed a mason jar to Shownu.

The male knit his brows as he analised it.

"...chill pill???" He read the label.

"Yeah!"

"Whats this?"

"Basically, its a jar full of motivational quotes that I came up by myself...the thing is, the small notes inside the jar represent a pill. And whenever you feel down or sad, you'll take a 'pill' from the jar with hopes that it will make your day better..." He smile broadly.

Shownu looked at the jar and let out a small chuckle.

"Are you mocking me?" Kihyun pout.

"Nope...I just find you really adorable thats all"

"Really? Thats what Hyerin said too" Kihyun laugh as he played with the hem of his shirt.

Shownu stared at the jar in his hand and back at Kihyun.

"....Kihyun-ah...."

"Hmm?" Kihyun covered his red cheeks.

".....do you like Hyerin?"

Kihyun arch his brows. He stare at Shownu's eyes for a moment before avoiding them.

"I guess..." He smile.

".....you should ask her out"

"You think so?"

"..yeah...it seems like she likes you back"

"But im not sure though..." Kihyun scratch his head.

At this point, Shownu wished that Kihyun would not take it literally.

He wanted Kihyun to look disgusted and say that he would chose Shownu instead.

But who was he kidding...

Of course Kihyun wont do that..

It seems like he really likes the idea of being with Hyerin.

i was a stupid fool...

"Just try...it seems like you love her a lot..." Shownu adjust his voice.

His tears were slowly filling up his eyes and Shownu knows that he will cry if he kept talking to Kihyun.

"I do..." Kihyun said.

Shownu gulped nervously and quickly got up, pretending to stretch his body.

When their eyes no longer get in contact, Shownu let out all the tears he kept inside him.

His back was facing Kihyun who was staring into space, not realising that the other person was crying.

Shownu stared at the floor and played with his feet.

He scolded himself for being so stupid in love.

Kihyun is straight and he will never ever fall in love with him.

It seems like Shownu fall in love to easily.

Everytime Kihyun does something nice, he would think that Kihyun likes him.

But in reality, Kihyun doesnt like him in that way.

He probably likes him as a friend.

"Oh and by the way, Im starting work tomorrow" Kihyun snap his finger.

"Where?"

"Mansae Bakery! I decided to help my mom out...our family is not coping well financially" He sigh heavily.

After wiping all those tears away, Shownu turn to Kihyun.

"From what time till what time?"

"5pm to 11pm"

"But school ends at 4.30pm?"

"Yeah...I know...I guess I have to sacrifice my time for my mom..." He smile.