Unloved But Unforgotten

Chapter 35

- Demi's POV -

I couldn't stop crying.

this is all your fault.

No.

yes it is.

No its not. she's just broken.

yeah... because you broke her.

no... this isn't my fault.

is it?

yes. none of this would have happened if you didn't smack her.

I debated back and forth in my head for an hour before finally giving in.

"I give up." I whispered to myself as I stood from the chair and jogged down the corridor of the hospital and into the bathroom.

I locked the door and stared at muslef in the mirror.

and of course, the voices came.

because they always come when I'm most vulnerable.

ugly . fat . stupid . fat. weird. fat. you look like a cow. you like you haven't missed a meal all your life. no one loves you. you're fat. and ugly. no one can love someone who is fat and ugly.

I was pulled out of the thoughts by someone knocking on the door.

I looked down at my hand as I realized that I had cut my arm with my fingernail.

I began to panic.

I grabbed some toilet paper and stopped the bleeding before pulling the sleeve down on my jacket.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

I wasn't in my right mind.

excuses.

you always say that Lillian is broken but you're not exactly 'fixed' now are you?

I sighed.

of course I'm not.

how could I be.

how the hell did I expect to help someone when I can't even help myself!

what the fuck kind of person am I!?

I told Lillian that I would help her.

but I can't.

I mean, that's like getting a legless person to teach someone how to walk.

doesn't make much sense right?

exactly.

look at you, Demi, debating with yourself in a hospital bathroom.