fix you || A.I.

prologue

——— Ashton's POV ———

"So I just got a text from a friend of mine from back home, I asked her if she wanted to spend some time with us on tour. She would love to come if that's alright with you guys?" Luke asked looking at all of us. Well I assume he was looking at us, I didn't really care to look up from my phone.

"Yea ofcourse, who is it?" Calum asked sounding way too happy like usual.

"Alexis" He replied excited.

"She's cool, I got no problem with her coming over." Michael said as he let out a soft laugh.

"Ashton?" Luke asked, I looked up from my phone and just gave him a small smile. "Is it alright for you if she comes?"

"I really don't care, just do what you want." I slowly said before I got up from the couch, I took a few quick steps to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. When my eyes landed on my own reflection I just wanted to smash the mirror.

The huge bags under my eyes were getting harder to cover up and all my clothes were becoming too big. I hate looking at myself. I get them, I get why they hate me. Because to be honest, I hate me too.

The boys keep sending me to therapists and we even had someone on tour with us for a while. I had to go sit in her office for atleast an hour every day and talk, not that I said a word but I wasted a lot of time with him.

I get why they do it but they need to realise that there's nothing they can do to help me.

They just need to let me feel something. If I can't feel any happiness anymore, atleast let me feel this sadness.

I pulled up the sleaves of my shirt, wrists all red covered in cuts.

This is the only way I can feel something.
I whispered to myself as a reminder.