fix you || A.I.

chapter thirty-six

"Ashton is still getting ready, he will be down soon." His mom said after she had let me in. "Maybe you can go see if he's almost done?"

"Alright." I walked towards the stairs and when I got to the top I could see multiple doors being closed. This will be fun.

I went by every door and knocked and ofcourse it was my luck that Ashton's door was the last one

"Who's there?" He asked after I knocked.

"Alex. Your mom sended me to see if you were almost done."

"Tell her I'll be down in 5minutes." He said. It went silent inside his room after his words so I just turned around and walked back downstairs. I could already hear them talking and laughing in the kitchen

"He will be ready in 5" I said with a smile when I walked inside "is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can help me put the plates on the table." Harry said with a smile. I nodded and took the things he wasn't able to get before following him to the table.

Ashton walked inside when we had just finished. He looked at me for a few seconds before going to the kitchen. He came back outside a few seconds later as he held a big plate of food.

"Hi" I said when he stood beside me. He looked at me with a slight glare before going back to the kitchen.

I don't know what happened or what I did, but something is wrong.

"He's grumpy to everyone, don't worry about it" Harry said with a smile. Ashton came back with the second plate before we all sat down.

Ofcourse Ashton and I had to sit besides eachother as everyone else was fast enough to take a seat.

"Thank you so much for inviting me for lunch" I said with a smile as I looked at her.

"Don't worry, I really want to get to know who's hanging out with my boy." She replied with a smile and I could just see Ashton tense up besides me.

"We're not together mom." He spit out before taking food on his plate. And as he reached forward with his arms, his sleeves slipped up. He had a bandage around his left wrist and a few bracelets to cover up.

He is having a relapse.

---

"Ashton, can we talk?" I asked silently when his family was in the kitchen.

"No." He said rudely before pushing his chair back and almost running up the stairs. I sighed and looked down at my hands before looking back infront of me. Lauren's eyes were glued on me after she probably saw him run off.

I got up aswell and followed him up the stairs slowly. His door was already closed but I couldn't care less.

I pushed the door open with a little force as something was blocking it but I got inside. Ashton was sitting on his bed, knees pulled up to his chest and his eyes never met mine.

I sat down beside him and looked down at my hands.

"I already thought it was weird that you didn't have a relapse yet. You tried to be too happy too fast." I said before looking at him. "But I want you to know that it's alright. It's normal to get back into old habits only this time, you can't let them win."

"Can you just fuck off Alex?" He said before staring at me. "I'm really done with all your bullshit and trying to get me better. You might think you're good, but if you were good, I wouldn't be sitting here. Just go back to your pathetic lonely live instead of trying to steal our families because you've got no one." He was almost yelling at me. But kept his voice low enough so they wouldn't hear it.

I looked down at my hands again after his words and got up. I walked to the door and looked back at him a last time, "just be glad you've got 3 family members here and enough aunts and cousins who love you. Don't take them for granted. Because like you said, I've got no one."

"Just stop feeling so sorry for yourself. You're not the only one with a shitty life alright? And to be honest, I don't want you on tour again."

I just nodded before closing the door behind me.

——— Ashton's POV ———

I'm messing up. I'm messing up so badly with Alexis. I don't know why these words are coming out of me and I don't know why suddenly I feel this bad again.

I know I'm relapsing and I know that that's normal. But somehow my mind wants her to fuck off. I want her to stay away from me.

And I can't explain why that is but I can't take it anymore. I can't stand being around her anymore.

And being home is bringing back the whole reason why this all started.

"Ashton, what happened?" My mom asked from the door. I looked up at her and I'm pretty sure I had tears in my eyes after I saw the way she looked at me change. But I couldn't feel it anymore. I couldn't feel a single thing except for hate. I don't hate her, I hate the way I feel around her. "Oh honey" she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I can't do this anymore mom." I said silently while I let her hug me. She placed a kiss on my head before brushing my hair with her hand. She always did that when I was little.

"What happened with Alexis? She looked like she was about to break down when she left." She whispered back.

"I fucked up."

"Have you told her how you feel?" She asked.

I shook my head lightly before showing her the texts I got yesterday.

TEXTS

Hemmings AU: I know you're planning on telling her, but don't. To quote her exact words: 'I am not interested in him like that right now'
Hemmings AU: she wouldn't lie to my mom. She will lie as much as needed to us but not to her. She also has no clue I overheard her.

She sighed when she gave me my phone back. "I know there's more going on then just this. But don't give up yet. Show her the real you, be strong and show her how you were before all of this. Because nobody can resist that hot guy." She said with a small laugh.

"I don't think I can ever go back to that guy."

"You can, because I saw him back yesterday before the christmas dinner. I saw him back in the way you looked at her and the way your smile changed at the sight of her. She's bringing back the old you, and that's why you can't stand being around her when you're having a bad day. You can't stand that you feel happier when you see her while you want to feel like a mess. You keep telling yourself you can't go back so you eventually start believing it. But deep down you know that you're back around her."

----

@alexisthomas: I came to a point in life where I have no clue anymore what to do.

DMs

Ashton Irwin: sorry about today. I'm messed up. Can we meet up tomorrow?
Alexis: I need some time Ashton.

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A/N: he fucked up.

Has anyone ever noticed that Ashton hasn't called her Alex even once? He always calls her Alexis while everyone else calls her Alex.

There might be a reason for that.