fix you || A.I.

chapter fifty

"We're going to be in LA for a few days now, so everyone is going to go home and just get together at the venues." Luke said while we were both spread out over the couches, half asleep but too awake and excited to sleep after tonight's show.

"I know"

"Are you going to go home with me or Ashton?" He asked without looking at me

"Ashton" I said as I turned my head to look at him "we already talked about it this morning."

"Alright, that's good because my guest room is currently full of boxes and being used as music room." He said laughing a little "so how are you and Ashton?"

"We're both doing good I guess." I said

"No, I mean how are you doing together?"

"We go on dates, have fun, cuddle and kiss. But other then the kissing, not much has changed, I'm his girlfriend to the public but I have no clue what we are in reality."

"Do you want it to be more?" He asked finally looking at me

"I don't even know. I'm still not sure I want to be actually dating a guy like him, it's all fun now but I won't be with you guys after tour. It will mean being away for so long from the one I love. I don't think I can handle that. Plus never being sure of him being loyal because enough like that happens in your world, I would hate being home in Australia not being able to see him."

"But do you want to date him? If you don't think of everything you just said."

"I do" I replied, I couldn't look at him while I said that.

"This world is crazy, we meet crazy fans, do crazy things and are incredibly busy. But neither of us would ever cheat. Especially Ashton, he likes you a lot." He said with a sigh "for once, take the jump. Even though you have no clue where you'll land, let yourself be happy. You still have a long time under our contract so a long time that you will be around. Are you going to keep preventing yourself from being happy while you know that all you want, is to be with him?"

"I know" I said silently before moving my eyes to the door when the handle got pushed down, dead silent between us.

"Are you ready to go home?" Ashton asked when he walked in, I shot Luke a glare to make sure he knows he can't talk about it before getting on my feet and walking towards him. "I already put your bags in the cab, we called a cab for you too Luke"

"Alright. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Luke said with a smile while he went over to his bags when we left the room.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with Luke? I'm really happy that you want to come with me but you don't have to." He said rapidly, almost too fast for my tired brain to understand.

"I'm sure, it will be nice to just spend a few days with you alone." I said with a smile "we might finally be able to figure out what this is."

"Do we have to put a name on this?" He asked with a small smile before opening the door of the car for me.

"I'd like to have some clarity about what the hell we are when there aren't fans around. Don't you?" I said before getting in the car. He closed my door before walking to the other side and sitting down beside me, he told the driver the adress before looking at me again.

"I do." He said with a smile before taking my hand in his. "Do you still want to eat something tonight? I will get food in the morning so we can survive a few days but I don't think I have anything left. Maybe one pizza and ice cream but I have no clue."

"No I'm fine, I already ate way too much and I'm getting tired so I'd rather go straight to bed." I said with a small smile

"Alright, I'll get food first thing in the morning."

—-

His left arm was wrapped strongly around my body while we laid in bed. My back against him, both silent. We had talked about the most random things for half an hour untill we finally decided to sleep. And I was so happy about that.

"Alexis?" He whispered after being silent for 20 minutes, I have seen every single minute on the clock as I couldn't get our conversation out of my head. "Are you still awake?" I had decided that at this moment, it was better to stay silent or we wouldn't get any sleep at all.

He stayed silent for a few minutes before losening his grip on me and moving a little "I love you and I don't ever want to be without you again."

He laid his head down again after his words and let out a sigh, my whole body just froze.

I've been asked what superpower I wanted to have just a week ago, back then I answered the fans that asked it that I didn't know. That I had survived so many years without one, I was sure I could do it without any super powers.

If I got asked that question right now, I would answer that I loved to be able to disappear. Because this situation, is not one I prepared myself for.

I expected my first 'i love you' to be after a romantic date or even after sex. Not while he thinks I'm asleep. Because now what? I can't tell him I heard him because it will offend his feelings, but knowing myself, I also can't just forget it. And also knowing myself, I'd have to wait untill he builds up the courage to ever say it.

But worst of all, I think he's a step ahead of me.

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A/N: after this I got one more chapter so you guys will have to help me to find inspiration to continue because I can't....