fix you || A.I.

chapter twenty-one

"I just called with Sandra, if you want you can join us at the ceremony. You can sit beside them and say something if you want. But she is hoping you won't tell her that you're his daughter." Samuel said when we were back downstairs half an hour later.

"Can I still go see him, is it close enough to make it in 20 minutes?" I asked and he nodded I turned around to go to the door before grabbing my arm.

"I did have to warn you it's at the same place as your mother." He said. I nodded before going out of the door. I sat down and rode to the cementry. I didn't give it a second thought, I wasn't going to do it if I would.

It took me only 5 minutes and a speeding ticket to get there. I parked my car next to his that's probably being used by her now before walking inside. I was terrified.

I asked for his name at the entrance and got told where to go. He got one of the front rooms to say goodbye. I debated wheter to knock or just go in.

I opened the door slowly and I could already hear the soft cries. When I had a full sight of the people inside I saw Sandra and her parents sitting on the side, she was crying pretty hard. His parents were standing next to him. They all looked up shocked when I walked in.

I guess Ben did lie a little to me.

"Hi" I said softly after I closed the door.

"You're not invited." Sandra said while she looked at me with a glare.

"I am allowed to attend my dad's funeral. Ben told me I could come." I said silently. "I just want to say goodbye to him. That's it."

"C'mon honey" Her dad said as they pulled her up. They all left the room silently and I took in a deep breath. I took two steps forward and stood beside him. My eyes still looking forward, I gathered all the courage I have left after my trip to hell today and looked down.

There he was, the very last time I could see him. I knew exactly what I still wanted to say, but after the past hour, I've got no clue anymore. I know it's weird to talk to a dead person, but it's good to let out to unsaid words.

"You know I don't hate you right?" I said silently, scared to wake him up if I spoke too loud. My mind is so messed up. "I am disappointed in you but I'm disappointed in myself aswell. I met my sister and brother today. Even if they share only half of my genes, I wish I knew about them before. But I'm glad that you enjoyed life the past years. I still have a hard time doing that now and then. I'm going to miss you. And I do love you, I really do." I said before wiping away my tears.

Asshole or not, I'm going to miss the thought of having a dad. My kids will never be able to meet any of my family members and I will have every single family dinner without my family. But there's going to be a child born in the next few months who has never seen his fathers face, heard his laugh or saw his dad do something stupid. And even if I'm not Sandra's biggest fan, I can imagine that what she feels is so much worse then I feel. She's going to have to raise three children on her own and she lost someone she loved with all her heart, like I lost my mom.

"Alexis, our time is almost up and we would like to see him a last time." My granddad said silently. I nodded and walked towards the door, I walked out the room and I wasn't planning on stopping. I was going to walk to my car and drive back home. I can't do this.

"Are you Alexis Thomas?" An older man asked as he stopped me at the door.

"Yea, why?"

"I'm your dad's lawyer. I wanted to ask if you have time to talk. It's about his will." He said as he took a letter out of his pocket. "He wanted me to give this directly to you if he passed, no matter when that would be. I wasn't allowed to let anyone else give it to you."

"I don't want it. I'm trying to end this chapter, not make it worse every minute." I said as I pushed his hand back.

"Just take it with you, read it or throw it away and if you do decide to read it and want to talk, here's my card." He said as he pushed it in my hands. I took it annoyed and shoved it in my pocket.

I turned around and saw Ben, Lex and Sammie walking towards me.

"Alexis, I made a drawing for you!" Lex said excited as she let go of Ben's hand and ran to me. There goes my escape route.

"Can I see it?" I said as I gave her a hug. She smiled and took a paper out of her pocket, she handed it to me and I opened it. She drew two girls holding hands, one of them with blue hair and the other had bright red hair.

"That's you with the blue. I want to have red hair." She said and I looked down at the drawing. She had written 'sisters' above us.

How can I tell her now that she will never see me again? That her mom won't allow me to see her.

——— Ashton's POV ———

"Has any of you already heard something from Alex?" Luke asked worried when we were all sitting in the dressing rooms.

"No, why? Hasn't she called?" Michael asked

"No she hasn't. The funeral should have ended over an hour ago and she never even called when she arrived."

"There are pictures of her at the airport in Australia, so she's there." I said while I kept my eyes on my phone. I think I've checked it a 100th times already to see if she has sended a tweet or anything yet.

"Wait, she just tweeted so she's alive. Just give her time to process everything. She'll be fine." Calum said. I quickly opened the app and went to her profile.

@AlexisThomas: today is a strange day for me. Out of all expectations I had of today, things got even crazier.

@AlexisThomas: don't forget to tell your parents you love them, forgive them if they make mistakes and most of all, don't hate them.

@AlexisThomas: dad, we haven't been close for a long time but I will miss you. I love you and I forgive you for every single thing. I might not be able to say that to your face anymore, but I do miss you.

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A/N: there will be more Ashton again soon I just needed a few chapters dedicated to her now. It will be important in the far future so I had to put it in somewhere and now seemed a good time 😄

I hope you guys don't mind these Alex chapters :)