Nightmare (sequel to Electric completed)

Chapter 11

Bucky

    I've been dreading this day. The day I have to go to Winky's funeral and "celebrate" her life. I always found that odd. Celebrating something means you're happy, and this is not a happy day. I always hated funerals, especially when you're the one being pitied. I remember when my mom died of pneumonia. Her funeral was beautiful, but I wish all those people didn't come. I know it sounds selfish, but I don't usually cry in front of people. So I just wanted to be alone with her and cry until my eyeballs fell out. The amount of people that I hardly knew coming up to me and pretending to know my mom their whole life was probably the worst part of it.

"Sorry for your loss", "she was a good person" it made me sick to my stomach that that many people had the audacity to come up to me and pretend to be sorry. To pretend they knew her but they didn't. Now I have to go through that all over again.
I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, just staring at myself. It's been a week since she died, a week since the Avengers tower felt a little bit bigger, a week since I spiralled back into a whirlpool of sadness. It's only been a week, yet it feels like yesterday.

"Bucky?" I hear Steve say from behind me, "you ready?" I nod in response. Steve wears a black suit with no tie. I think he attempted at tying it but gave up. I'm wearing a black suit as well, my brown hair messy from running my hand through it so much. Steve looks at me and gives me a small smile, probably trying to make me feel better. I want to smile back, but I can't. It feels wrong to do it when I'm not happy. The blond's smile quickly fades, and he looks down, suddenly interested in his dress shoes.

"Look, Buck" he says, "I know this is hard, it's hard for all of us, but Winky would want you to be strong" I stare at him through the mirror, my face not showing any emotion except for my blue eyes. They always seem to show everyone how I really feel.

"I'm trying, Steve" I reply, "I'm trying..."

• • • •

The Avengers and I sit in a little church, Winky's coffin sitting up front. Some of the superheroes wanted to say a few words about her, but not me. I couldn't go up there and talk about her, even if it's to the Avengers. I would say one word and burst into tears, if I still have some left. To my surprise though, Wanda comes up first. I never thought of her as a public speaker, but given the circumstances I think she would set that aside. Wanda clears her throat as she tucks a lock of brown hair behind her ear.

"I wanted to find a word that could describe Winky, but it doesn't exist. Her humour, her smile, her bravery, her compassion, cannot be described by only one word" Wanda takes a deep, shaky breath and continues, "I remember her first night in the Avengers tower. I couldn't sleep and thought I would get something from the kitchen, when I heard someone else in there. When I walked in, I saw Winky snacking on cookies" there are a couple laughs in the room, but it quickly dies down.

"I remember she looked at me with the most guilty expression" she laughs, tears welling up in her brown eyes, "Then I realized, that was probably the first time in decades she ever had a cookie. She was an experiment in a lab for so long, but she pulled through anyways. Winky was the strongest person I know. And she inspired me everyday to keep going, and still does" Wanda's voice wavered when she said the last part. She walks down the steps and sits down in one of the benches. Natasha, who was sitting next to her, patted her on the back in an attempt to comfort the Scarlett Witch.

Next was Tony, coming up on the stage in a nice suit. It was Winky's favourite suit. Every time he wore it she would say he looked like one of the guys from Men in Black. Tony stands on the podium where Wanda once stood, and fixed his tie. He clears his throat, obviously feeling a little awkward up there.

"Winky and I were like siblings. We would mess with the Avengers all the time. Weather it was pranks or teasing, we would always have a laugh over it. I remember about a week after we found her, she wandered into my lab. At first I never really thought much about her. She was a curious thing, I knew that, but I figured she already had enough scientists poke her. But, she came to me. She wanted to see the smartass Iron Man do his work. After a while I got an idea. We both went to find Clint to through a pie and blast an air horn in his ears" Tony makes a very small chuckle, "that was the first time I heard Winky laugh...then I decided to teach her some English, and...the rest is history" the billionaire walks off the podium and down the steps to his seat next to Rhody. Then the minister comes up, giving us a short sermon about death and what not.

"God giveth, and God taketh away..."

I tune it out, unable to even listen to the sermon without feeling that awful ache in my chest.

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Now wasn't that fuuuuuuun? No? well neither was writing it.