Made With Love ~(With Love Series)~

Rory Gilmore 101 Cont...

I started reading about the proposal at her pre graduation party and I groaned a bit not wanting to relive this moment in time.

As I read I remember the bits Rory had told me but it was truly interesting to hear how she had put the ring on and tried envisioning her life as a Huntzberger, she knew at that moment that her heart wasn't in it, yet...

She wanted to excel in her life on her own merit she felt she was too young. I agreed with that, not just because I had feelings for her at the time I did believe she needed to live her life without being tied down.

I was relieved to find out that she knew where she stood and declined his proposal. I hated to see Logan down and feeling lost but I knew it was best for them both, but I couldn't believe that he would ever give her an ultimatum like that.

After Logan passed out I took the guys and told them we needed to find her, because she was our friend and she should be treated as such, not feel that she lost us because of her and Logan splitting up.

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She went into very vivid detail from the morning we found her in Stars Hollow until the Campaign trail was over, all of our adventures drunken and otherwise. I didn't think she would openly tell about the fact that I took time out for her just to spend time just her and I together but here it was it was heartwarming to read that she was having the same feelings I was at the same time.

No one really knows that when I made the "joke" about getting married in Vegas it wasn't a joke, as trashy as it sounds I would've married her right then and there and never regretted it. True I was hurt when she declined but we were drunk and it was not the time, we weren't together for heaven's sake.

I lost hope for a little while and let my idiotic self lose a weekend with her my love for her was too much for me at that point in time and I started to believe it was one sided. I pulled my head out of my ass again not willing to give up on her whether we would be more or just friends I knew I needed Rory Gilmore in my life.

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Once the campaign trail was over we kept up the communication but seeing each other came down to once or twice a week, she wrote about all our dates and our time together. It explained that she didn't want something so casual with me but she felt that's all I ever wanted so she gave it to me scared to tell me just how she felt due to the fear of losing me.

I didn't want casual... I wanted her all of her... I believed I was in too deep with a woman who still loved another.

She had gone on dates here and there but they didn't pass the first date, this was something new to me, she never told me about her dating but then again I never let on that I wasn't, I did just the opposite I made it seem as if I was seeing other people.

It was hard to read about her dates although it did help that she called each one mundane and a waste of time.

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After 6 years of us having standing dates and everything we started to lose touch with her traveling more and more to do freelance pieces for various magazines and papers. I learned about the time we were apart and where she went and what she did, not in too much detail but it was more about how lost she was beginning to feel.

She lived in a small apartment in Brooklynn but never felt that it was home, the only place that made her feel like she was at home was her mum's house but she knew she needed to be close to the city in case her career ever took off.

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We got back to our routine about 3 months before she ran into Logan in Hamburg, she tells about seeing him again and feeling that maybe she didn't make the right choice. Getting wrapped up in the world of Logan was mesmerizing, she started to believe that he was her life, she felt happy but not as happy when she was with me, confusion clouded her mind.