Breaking The Silence

January 20th

Dylan's eyelids fluttered open as he woke up in unfamiliar surroundings. Ah yeah, he was staying with.....David! Turning his head to the side, David's face was close enough to his that he could see the stubble! So he'd had another nightmare then. Sam must have warned David for him to be lying next to him like this. He wanted to feel angry at Sam for telling someone one of his secrets but he wasn't. He wanted to save his anger in case he had the misfortune of seeing Danny again. He had promised that he'd be back and Dylan wanted to be in the position where he could fight back.

Dylan managed to get out of the bed, get clothes out without waking the snoring David. He was reminded of sitting in the hotel room in France, watching him sleep. Dylan had never really slept well being away from home. It wasn't just a case of missing your own bed either. It was a reminder of what he had lost. First his mother, his foster parents when he went to medical school, Sam and now a part of him was lost on his boat.

Lofty was waiting outside as Dylan made his way down the stairs an opened the door. "Ben. I'll just be a minute"

"Take your time. I'm early anyway" Lofty watched Dylan put out some fresh food and water for Dervla.

"Did you want anything?"

"I'm fine. I had breakfast before coming here"

Dylan nodded. The thought of eating anything right now made him feel sick. He poured himself a glass of orange, took one sip and wanted to retch but thought better of it. "I think I'm good to go"

"I take it David doesn't know where we're going?"

"No. I didn't want anyone making a fuss. He's still asleep anyway"

Dylan clipped on Dervlas Lead and the three of them went on their walk to the marina.

*****

Lofty distracted Dylan with tales of life upstairs at Holby City hospital. How he was glad to be back. How he'd met someone he'd like to spend the rest of his life with.

"Who is the lucky person?"

Lofty smiled at Dylan. He'd said person and not just assumed they would be a woman. Had Dylan known all along? "His name is Dom. He's a Doctor"

"I hope that one day you'll be happy together"

Lofty smiled. "I hope that too"

*****

Arriving at the marina, Lofty noticed that Dylan had started to walk at a slower pace. When his boat was in sight, he stopped completely and started to breathe heavy, body shaking. Lofty steered him over to a wall that they could sit on. Lofty rubbing Dylan's back in soothing circles. "It's ok Dylan. You don't have to go back. Not ever"

"I...need... to...face...my...fear. My....nightmares"

"Ok, but you need to wait this out. Breathe"

*****

This time, Dylan and Lofty made it as far as the jetty. "Ben, I can't do this"

"It's ok Dylan". Lofty wrapped his arms around his friend. "We can try another day"

They both turned away from the boat, walking back the way they'd come,

*****

They made it back to David's before it started to snow. David was making soup. "There you are!"

Lofty looked at Dylan and they both smiled when they realised that David was talking to Dervla.

"I've made soup. Grab a seat"

Dylan and Lofty both sat down at the table. On it was an assortment of bread rolls. Dylan still felt sick but when David came over with the soup, he broke off some bread and dunked it into the soup. It did taste good.

"Did you enjoy your walk?"

"Yes, it was nice. Thanks for asking". Dylan did not want to discuss his and Loftys excursion to the boat. He didn't want David to know he'd been too scared to even go near it.

Loftys face told David that something had happened though. He did wonder if they had gone to the marina. It would be a big step in Dylan's recovery if he had been able to step foot on the boat again. Dylan's abrupt answer had told him he hadn't.

*****

Once lunch was done, Dylan went into the living room with Dervla. "How did the trip to the marina go?"

Lofty looked surprised. "I thought he hadn't told you?"

"He didn't. I just guessed"

"We made it to the jetty. He'll get there in time"

"I'm sure he will" David was tired.

"Dylan have another nightmare?"

"He told you?"

"He mentioned nightmares, but gave me no details"

"He said he had no friends. That his only friend was a bottle of whiskey. Is that really how he feels?"

"I think it was just his subconscious protecting him from whatever was happening in the nightmare. You know what he's like, keeps everything to himself"

Dylan came through with Dervla. "I think she's wanting fed"

"I need to go, I'm afraid. I'll try and pop down to the ED tomorrow and see how you're getting on".

Dylan rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. If Zoe has anything to do with it"