Breaking The Silence

February 4th

He hated himself for running away, not that he really was. He knew there was only one place at the moment where he could face his demons.....

*****

Sam woke up alone. When she went through to the living area she had hoped to see Dylan but there was no sign of him. Or his clothes. Looking at the clock she figured 6am was too early to phone David to ask if Dylan was there. She also made a mental note to get Dylan a new phone. Sam did what she did every morning when she woke up early. Went out for a run.

*****

David had just got out of the shower when Sam rang the doorbell. "Is he here?"

"I don't think so. I'll go up and check"

Sam sat in the kitchen with Dervla.

David shouted down. "He's not up here. I'll be down in a jiffy"

"Do you think he's gone to the boat girl?". Dervla whined. "I think he has"

"Did you run here?"

"Running helps clear my mind"

"What happened? Why did he leave?"

"Sex reminds him of what happened. He thought I was Danny"

"Oh..... he just needs time"

"That's what I told him David. I don't care if we don't ever have sex again. I love him too much"

"Don't forget he's still a bloke. Feeling he's inadequate for you"

"He keeps saying he's broken. Physically he didn't look broken to me" David screwed his face up and looked away. "Sorry David. Just what you needed planted in your mind"

"It's ok. In another time and place I could join you. Well not physically join you both. Just in your thoughts"

Sam raised an eyebrow at David, who busied himself pouring them both a glass of orange juice. "Drink this and we'll walk to the marina. I'm sure Dervla will be glad to see him. If he's there"

*****

Dylan stumbled down the stairs to the boat pausing at the door. The last time he had gone into the boat was with Zack. Everything was pretty much where he'd left it. His camera bag, Dervlas spare lead. He sat on the sofa shaking. Shaking from the cold or through the fear of being here. His home. Dylan wasn't sure. But he'd finally done it. Visited the boat. He couldn't bring himself to enter his bedroom though. Leaning back on the sofa, the rug was still on the back of it. Picking it up, he flicked it out and a piece of paper came flying out. Reaching down he saw that it was addressed to him.

Dylan - please believe me when I tell you that I am truly sorry for the hell you endured for me and Dervla. I looked after her. She reminded me of Nemo. I'm going to try and reconcile things with my dad. He doesn't like the fact I'm gay, so his attitude will not have changed, but if I don't try, I will never know.

If you don't hear from me by the end of February, please contact my dad. Danny is still threatening to kill me if I don't do what he says. I told Dervla I was going to kill myself. I still would but he's so obsessed with you. Be careful Dylan - from Zack

Dylan noted that Zack's father was a solicitor. He put the letter in his pocket. Now it was time to confront what had happened. Opening the bedroom door, Dylan fell to his knees. Crying.

*****

Dervla barked as Sam and David approached the boat. She ran into the boat. Dylan was definitely here then. She howled when she saw Dylan on the floor of his bedroom.

Sam went in first. Dervla was licking Dylan's face. He showed no reaction whatsoever. "Dylan?" She felt for a pulse and was relieved to find one. "Dylan it's Sam"

"Sam?"

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"Looking up at your beautiful face". Sam smiled down at him. "This is me confronting my demons head on"

"By lying down?"

"What's the point in being the same as everyone else? What's the point in anything?"

"I know. I understand. It's best to take life as it comes. Deal with all the shit thrown at you as it comes"

"Focus on the future and not dwell on the past?"

"Well done for getting this far Dylan"

"Will you help me learn to defend myself? I need to be able to at least delay him when he comes back?"

"Of course I will. But you need to promise to listen to my instructions this time"

Dylan smirked remembering how not listening had annoyed Sam years ago.

"In fact, we should do it as a class. See if we can get some of our colleagues interested?" Sam looked behind her at David. "You'd join a kick boxing class?"

"Me? Um yes okay"

"We'll run it by Zoe tomorrow"

"Dylan, is there anything you want to bring back to mine whilst we're here?"

Dylan looked around. There really wasn't anything he'd missed. "Maybe some of my books"

"You still have that old record player?"

"No, that's not the same one. It got destroyed on my last boat. Everything is just for sentimental purposes really"

"Does that explain this then?" Sam was holding up their wedding photo hidden between two books.

"Of course. I have most of our things in storage. The rest I gave away"

"You never said before?"

"You never asked"

"We'll have to go and look"

Dylan took his jacket off the hook. "Keys, for the Land Rover. We'll go and get some breakfast"

Sam and David watched Dylan assemble a pile of belongings on the table. They both shared a smile at the progress Dylan was making. None of them would ever forget what happened but they were both strong, supporting Dylan and each other.