We all do

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Dylan POV:

The pounding beeps of my alarm clock interrupted the five minutes of sleep I had finally been able to receive. Slamming my hand over the off button until I found it, I sat up in bed. Who was I kidding? I wasn't going to get anymore sleep anyway.

"She's in a coma."

"She's in a coma."

Blake's words continued to ring in my head.

There was no part of this that wasn't my fault.

I had literally sent my baby sister directly into a coma.

If she doesn't come out of it...

"No." I can't think like that.

After Blake came out and told us Dakota's status, the doctors had to run more tests on her. It seemed like that was all they ever did, while we sat and waited anxiously.

We pretended to watch TV, read magazines, or go on our phones. Finally the tests were done for today, and we were allowed to visit her.

She looked lifeless despite her soft and slow breathing. I could tell that Nick felt squeamish about being in the room and seeing her like that. It was so painfully different from her usual happy and sassy self.

We only stayed for about fifteen minutes despite my not wanting to leave her side. Only Blake was allowed to spend the night there.

After rolling out of bed, I made my way downstairs to go eat breakfast. It was only as I was staring into the blue light of the refrigerator and eyeing a slice of leftover pizza that I was reminded of Dakota and realized I wasn't hungry.

I sighed and went over to couch, plopping down next to Nick. He looked up from his phone and gave me an insincere half smile.

The doorbell rang, breaking the awkward silence.

"I'll get it," I murmured, and slowly rose up from the couch making my way to the front door. Forgetting to look through the peephole, I swung open the door to reveal Chris standing on the porch.

"Chris?" I asked, surprised. Fuck.

"Dylan? What are you doing home so early?" Fuck fuck fuck.

"I uh..." I knew I couldn't keep this from him, but how could I explain that I had put his girlfriend in a coma? "I could ask you the same."

He frowned and craned his neck to the side to look through the doorway and into my house, as if to see if Dakota was standing beside me or something.

"Look," he said, "is Dakota home? She wasn't in class today and she hasn't answered any of my texts in over twenty-four hours. Is she sick? I was just kind of worried... it's not like her."

I took a deep breathe and sighed. I knew I had to tell him.

"Chris... I... there's something I gotta tell you. Here," I offered. "Come in. I think you should sit down."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, worry flashing across his face. "Is Dakota alright?"

He came inside and sat down next to me, eagerly and yet cautiously waiting for my response.

I paused, not knowing the best way to tell him. "... No, she's not alright."

"What do you mean she's not alright?!"

"Chris," I said carefully. "Last night... some things happened and... well... Dakota ran in front of a car without looking and..."

I bit my lip and shut my eyes, not sure if I could continue.

"And what? And what?" Chris asked, impatiently.

I sniffled, and continued. "And... the car didn't stop. It hit her and... she's... well she's in a coma, Chris."

I looked up to meet his eye level again. Instead of sadness in his eyes there was anger and panic.

"What the fuck do you mean she's in a coma? Is this a fucking joke?"

I shook my head no, but he stood up abruptly.

"Is this a joke?" he yelled, pushing me backwards.

"Hey! It's not a joke. I'm serious. It's the truth... I..."

Hearing the noise, Nick and Talen joined me in the living room.

"What's going on?" Talen asked.

"That's what I'd like to fucking find out," Chris responded, bitterly.

"Please calm down," Talen said. "It wasn't Dylan's fault."

I looked over to Talen greatfully. He was nice for saying that. It wasn't true though...

I turned to look over at Talen and Nick. "Can you leave us alone for a minute?" I asked quietly. Obliging, they left the room leaving me to deal with Chris.

"Your fault?" Chris asked. "Why would it be your fault? What do you mean, 'some things happened'? What did you do?"

He knew. He knew it was my fault.

"You have to understand," I began. "I never intended for this to happen. Dakota... did something and we... we all got in a big fight. I don't know, it was different than the other fights and then she... ran out the door before we could stop her. We chased after her but it was too late."

Chris put his head in his hands and shook his head in disbelief. "No no no," he began chanting, as if that would somehow make everything go back to normal. He looked up from his hands and directed his attention back to me. "You had something to do with this, I know you did. Dakota always complained about how mean you guys were to her but I never thought it was that bad. I always thought it was in more of a playful way. Now I know the truth."

I felt my face growing hot and tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I held them in and spoke up. "No, it's not true. I swear. It went too far. But it was only one time. Please, you have to believe me I didn't mean for this to happen, I never wanted—"

My sentence was cut short as Chris' knuckles met my jaw. The punch caused me to stagger backwards and clutch my face. I deserved that.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled out. "Chris, I think it's time for you to leave. I know it's a lot to take in."

He punched me again, knocking me against the  side of the couch.

I wouldn't hit him back. I couldn't. He had every right. I deserved this. The throbbing in my head now was better than the pain of thinking about my baby sister in her trancelike state of sleep now.

"You think?!" he asked, sarcastically.

Nick and Talen rejoined us in the living room, running in to stop the fight.

"No! Don't hit him!" Talen yelped, and rushed to my side.

"Get back," I said, and flinched as Chris punched me in the stomach.

I doubled over in pain and defeat.

"Fight back you coward!" Chris yelled out, hitting me over and over again. "Fight back!" His swings became weaker and weaker with each one and he angrily swiped away the tears that he didn't know were there.

"It's time for you to leave," Nick warned, standing in front of me and stiffening his back.

Chris hung his head down and walked to the door, scowling. He hiccuped a little and then turned back to us before showing himself out the door.

"I love her, you know," he said.

I know, Chris. I wiped the blood off my lip that began to trickle down my nose.

We all do.

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