Good Enough |✅|

Jeremiah

Everything was going downhill for me.
I wasn't sure if I was happy that Daniel and the others had showed up.

I felt like crap. Everything felt like crap.
All of it had been different. I had even started to feel better about Susan. Until that one moment which stole it all. That one sentence, in a deep, dark voice. The announcement of the end of my possibly happy high school life. I wasn't even sure of what was going to become of the rest of my life anymore. My uncle said he'd take me in, but I doubted for how long.

I couldn't stand waiting around for the rest of my relatives to plan the funeral. Relatives who never knew my mom existed till she died.
Ah man, I felt like crap.

I'll admit I had expected Daniel to stop by, but the others who accompanied him? Not really. And the biggest surprise was when I spotted Susan.
Her eyes in mine were all I needed.

Susan : Uh, where's your . . . uh, father?

Great question.
But my heart was stone and my voice was metal.

Jeremiah : Wish I knew.

I seriously did.
I couldn't think of anything else when I asked them to come to the funeral.

Susan : Yes. Yes—I'll come. To—to the funeral.
I wanted to hug her. But I didn't. I'm not glad.

When they started to leave, I was fighting my hardest to resist crying. I felt as if a grey balloon was surrounding me. I was suffocating. I wondered how long I'd last. How long till I'd be doomed. I was only sixteen.

I slumped against the door as I closed it, waiting for a miracle to happen.

So I was obviously startled when the doorbell rang again.
And even more when Susan stared back.
But it was like someone had poured water over me.

Susan : I—uh—forgot to—I didn't offer any . . . co—condolences. I guess.

I stepped back to hide the impending gloom that had threateningly started to make appearances on my face. The last thing I wanted her to do was to feel bad for me. However, I turned it around and let her in. For the second time. I couldn't care less.

Susan : I just feel bad . . .

I wanted to stab myself.

Jeremiah : Isn't that the same thing?!

—as pity?
Of all things?!

Jeremiah : You know what? Please leave. Go spend time with Nick or something.

What? No! No, no, no! Stupid tongue! Stupid head!
My heart clenched up at the look she gave me. Maybe it was just me, or maybe she really was trying her hardest to resist bursting into flames.

Susan : What are you—I have got nothing to do with that kid! In fact, I despise him! Nick's an asshole. And you're—

She stopped. I stopped. I had a feeling I knew what she wanted to say. But I couldn't help it. My head was waaaaay too messed up. Worse than banana on pizza.

Susan : Don't come to school if you don't feel like it.

I really wouldn't have.
That is, until she said that.

When I did turn up at school though, I wasn't too surprised that everyone was trying to be too soft to me. The teachers were worse.
Right when I was beginning to think that it couldn't get worse, the most abominable thing happened. I hadn't seen Susan the whole day but when I did, I could've chosen jumping off a cliff a better option.

Susan was standing at the end of a corridor with guess who?
That's right. The bludgeoning asshole of a Nick. (How do the girls even like him?) Even though it was true that I didn't know him at all, at that moment I loathed him.

And if that wasn't enough, Susan and Nick were kissing!
My heart was burning coal.

Was she lying then?

More like, did I have the right to describe what I saw as abominable?

I just had to see them at that particularly fucked up moment.
And Daniel just had to go pee right then.

They detached. They had noticed my presence. Susan's fist clenched and unclenched. Nick did not look at me. Just walked away with enough state to blow my mind up. I did not wait for anything.

Susan : Jeremiah, stop. I can explain.

Jeremiah : Huh?! What the hell do you mean? I don't need any explanation.

Susan : Jeremiah, listen—

And before I knew it, I was shouting.

Jeremiah : You were lying! You lied!

Susan flinched. I hesitated.

Susan : But you didn't even listen to what I have to say! You don't even know what happened!

Jeremiah : I saw what happened!

Susan : Why are you like this? I mean, I can't blame you right now, but it's not like you're my boyfriend and I'm cheating on you!

My toes turned cold.
She was . . . right.
   I had no freaking right to be angry. I had no freaking right to be shouting at her.
But then why wouldn't my heart listen to me?

Jeremiah : I— you don't— just don't talk to me again.

I was overreacting. Over the top, overreacting.
But Susan said nothing.
   Was she actually going to stop talking to me?!
I felt so bad, I wanted to cry.
Over such a fucked up thing!

I walked away as if it was the end of the world.

And when I looked back but Susan didn't,

I couldn't decide what to feel.
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Yo!
Okay . . . . So . . . Yeah.
Vote if you feel the vibe.
And comment what you think about what is happening.
Peace!
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(Poor Jeremiah . . .)  
X'(
- Mallina