Susan

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I felt hilariously tense. Why? Even I couldn't fathom!

And it wasn't even my fault. I dunno what caused him to do it but Nick was plainly being an asshole as usual and he kissed me only to put up a show. I'm pretty sure he wasn't satisfied when he realised it was just Jeremiah. Nick was crappy on so many levels that I couldn't even.

But I wasn't as fazed by him as I was by Jeremiah.
Why did he have to react like that?
He had no defined reason for being so hell down pissed off and, or, angry.
What had he told me?
Not to talk to him ever again?

Why, why, why, why, WHY?!

And even after I'd told him that I had nothing to do with Nick. Just shows that he doesn't trust me. And it's not like he needs to or I told him to. He's so weird. But then again, I can't blame him for any of it. His situation's just that ridiculous. I wondered what he was expecting or actually thinking. I wondered if I could call him a friend anymore.
I wondered what he thought of me.

As the sun started to set, irritation engulfed my brain. My heart wavered each time I thought about him. I'd said I'd attend his mom's funeral but I couldn't figure out if I could do so anymore. It was no exam, no speech, no performance but a funeral. A funeral of a person I'd barely even seen let alone known. But it was the son who had tilted me off my feet.

Why did I feel like crying so bad?

However, when the next day dawned, I couldn't stand without pacing around like a mad scientist. I felt guilty. I felt strange. Weirdly annoyed and missing. I couldn't think of anything else.
Frustratingly, I ended up driving all the way to the cemetery anyway, even though I was late.

But hey, I was only fulfilling a promise, right? No more, no less.

All I had to do was walk out as soon as it ended. I was just not allowed to speak to him. That was it. I'd only sneak a peek of him maybe. Just to calm this maiden heart of mine.

But when my eyes took his still figure in, I broke down internally. I was pining to talk to him.
   Why, god, why him?

Jeremiah, the mostly misunderstood kid, who never received enough love, looked so white. So broken. It was clearly visible his mother was all he had had. And even then, there were all these other people around him now. I wondered if he'd change. And I wondered if I could play a role in it or if I'd just end up a witness.

When the rites got over, I realised I had to leave or I'd be seen by him. The others didn't matter. They didn't know what had happened between the two of us anyway. But when I got to my car, I couldn't drive. I was just that restless. I waited in the driver's seat for god knows how long.

Suddenly, two people ran past my car as if wolves were chasing them. On noticing clearly, I realised they were Raul and Daniel.
   Okay like, what the hell?

I got out of my car wondering if something had happened. Was the cemetery on fire? Were the others still in there? Was Jeremiah safe?
Even though I could see no smoke, I jogged in the direction Daniel and Raul had approached from with a bizzillion thoughts in my head.
And then I was in a park. Panting gently, I walked around the trees and toward the cluster of benches in the centre of the place.
   Nothing, nothing, nothi

As soon as I saw his crouched figure, my heart leapt to my throat. A squirrel scrambled up a tree behind him as he found my eyes and fixed them there.

And oh shit, I wanted to run but I couldn't move.

Jeremiah continued staring at me with sick eyes. Bleary eyes. Detrimental eyes. Oh, that stare which would never allow me to budge. And then three million or so split seconds later, he closed those eyes and turned away.

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