Pam

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Have you ever experienced something like this : You see your best friend and only crush run like a volcano had exploded, hand in hand with a guy who he was in love with but then realise that you had a boyfriend anyway so it wasn't your business anymore?

Also : You feel so obscenely undeserving and selfish that you could bite yourself to death?

That's right, I couldn't move on. Because I didn't know how to.

I summoned all the will power in me to turn around and flush the scene out of my mind.
Kaedan. Kaedan's all I need to care about right now.

And I'll admit I'm quite lucky that Kaedan was Kaedan. That he was the type of guy he was.

Kaedan : Seen Jeremiah and Susan anywhere?

Beats me.

I faced him. Tara was standing at a distance, talking with someone I didn't know.
Kaedan hadn't asked about Raul and, or, Daniel.

Pam : Dunno. Is it time to leave now or something?

Yup, that's the best I could do. Sarcastic clapping for my own self.

Kaedan : I think so. I've already texted Jeremiah.

We stood in blank silence for a few seconds, staring at the highway by the cemetery hill.

Kaedan : So, do you wanna go somewhere? Like—uh, coffee or pizza or . . . something?

  A date could help me, right? To get things outta my head?

I looked at him,

Pam : Yeah, okay.

Kaedan's smile, even if small, shone charmingly in the setting sun.

Kaedan : Where do you wanna go?

   I climbed into the passenger seat of his car.

Pam : Somewhere silent, peaceful and lonely. So it can be just and just the two of us.

And so that I can clear my head to let you make me yours or else I'll fucking need lessons on moving on. Or maybe even a counsellor.

   Kaedan was literally beaming and blushing at the same time so that he looked like he was gonna combust.
Maybe I'd do the same if Raul had said that to my face.

Oh my god, my stupid head with its stupid thoughts!

Kaedan : Uh, I can't possibly think of any other place besides my house. My parents are not home anyway so, yeah.

I think he meant it as a joke because it was clearly visible in his eyes but I turned on my spot instead.

Pam : That's a great idea! Your place it is then.

His reaction was priceless.

Fifteen minutes later, we were past his threshold.

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