After exactly twelve days, no Micah, constant binge eating with Grace and sickness I realise enough is enough and it should finally be time to turn my life around. I barely leave my dorm, except for the few classes I've decided to attend again. Unlike Grace I felt myself feeling fat from lying around all day.
I don't believe Micah being away for twelve days just to talk to his step-father. It can't just be that. I won't believe it. Despite this, despite his possible lie I only want him to be back. I feel lost without him.
Throwing on my coat I decide to walk to his place. Maybe he forgot to tell me his back, maybe my phone isn't working. Why wouldn't he come to my dorm room then? In my head I think of valid excuses on why he didn't call me if his back.
Maybe he isn't really back.
I track my way from the dorm building to his place. Outside the gate, I can hear noise and now, now I wonder what's going on. I head up the path and knock on the front door. The door opens.
I catch Micah's eye and shake my head. "So you are back.. why didn't you call?"
"Rose," he looks past me. "You should go."
"Go? No, why didn't you call me when you got back? You said you would, I was alone and scared.. I needed you, I still need you."
Pushing past him I walk into the living room. "Rose get the fuck out of here, okay? You shouldn't be here."
"Why? Because some crazed person that you've killed their family wants to kill me, again? I mean it's not a surprise this is happening." Footsteps click down the stairs, I freeze shutting my eyes. "Or your with another girl."
"I told you to fuck off."
"Why? What happened?" I shout pushing his chest.
"Your too much fucking effort."
"Micah," a cool calm voice says. "Hurry up. We're getting bored."
"Oh my god," I whisper. "I can't.."
I don't want to cry, not in front of this girl, not in front of Micah but I can't help the tears that spill out. All the emotions and pain that fall along with it. Everything I thought - it's a lie. "How long did you do this while we were together?" I stare at Micah, "just tell me the truth."
"You think we were ever together?" He asks.
My heart feels like it breaks into a million piece.
"Me, with you? You were just a good fuck, Rosalie."
"Why did you risk your life for me over and over then," I push his chest back as hard as I can, "You should have just let me die."
"Maybe," he nods, "I should have."
"Your sick," I spit. "I never want to see you again."
Micah laughs, "good."
I slap him across the cheek, I give it to him as a parting gift. He grabs my wrist, pulling me towards him, "what the fuck, Rosalie?"
"You don't get to say that," I shake my head. "You don't get to say anything."
♔♔♔
My entire life is falling apart being of one man. Before of one man's actions. Because of one man's word. I knew from the start I shouldn't have gotten close. Now I'm here, failing college and my relationship with my family broken and shattered.
Grace pulls my hair into a braid, taking a grape from the bowl and popping it into her mouth. "You shouldn't worry about him, you can get back onto your feet and get your grades up. You'll be fine."
"It's not that easy," I whisper.
"He hurt you and his a dickhead. You haven't been feeling well lately as well, your probably just sick or getting your period soon and it's making you more emotional than normal."
"Grace," I shake my head, "I was supposed to get my period days ago."
Her hand freezes from massaging my head. "Mine does that sometimes, comes after than it usually does. Usually when I'm stressed or something traumatic."
"It's never happened before," I whisper.
♔♔♔
Grace stares at the test which reads pregnant in bold. I can't count on one hand how many times she has told it's okay and that I'll be fine. But I know that I won't be. I have nothing. The minute my parents know, the minute I loose everything they provide me.
"Are you sure? I mean.. I think it's best if you tell him. He'll be able to provide and help you.. you don't need to do this alone if you tell him."
"I told you, I'm not telling him."
"Rose, you shouldn't hold up a grudge-"
"I'm not," I pull my hair.
"You are But your thinking of yourself, what about your child's sake?"
"That's if I keep it," I turn away, looking out the window. Tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't realise how much my life could fall apart within one day. "I don't want to be pregnant," I shout, "not with Micah's child. Not at this age, god dammit."
"Well you can't really turn back now can you?" Grace rolls her eyes, "you just have to deal with it."
"I can't do this," I pull my hair, "this is all a dream, I'll wake up and everything will be normal, there's no Micah, there's no... no thing inside of me."
"Baby," she sighs. "You're going to have to come to terms with it eventually. Even if it's Micah's. You have to care for it."
♔♔♔
3 chapters left huns xx
i wanna update so bad
but I don't want this to end
